Romance Scams

By Trilogy Financial
August 1, 2023
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A romance scam, also known as an online dating scam, is when a person gets tricked into believing they’re in a romantic relationship with someone they met online, when in fact their other half is a cybercriminal using a fake identity to gain enough trust to ask — or blackmail — them for money.

Oftentimes, a romance scammer starts on dating sites or apps. But scammers have increasingly started finding targets on social media, too.

After connecting with someone through a fake profile, the scammer will strike up a conversation and start building a relationship by regularly chatting with them. Once they start to trust the romance scammer and believe they have a truthful relationship, the cybercriminal will make up a story, ask them for money, and vanish.

Types of Romance Scams

Some of the most common internet dating scams include:       

Fake Dating Sites: Scam dating sites claim to be legitimate but are actually filled with scammers or underpopulated. These websites are created to mine your information.

Photo Scams: Scammers will convince their target to send their personal information in exchange for intimate photos.

Military Romance Scams: The scammer will pose as a military member, likely deployed. They build trust by using military jargon and titles, then ask for money to cover military-related expenses, such as flights home.

Intimate Activity Scams: The scammer connects with their target on multiple social media websites. Once they become closer, the scammer convinces them to undress and then threatens them with the recordings.

Code Verification Scams: Scammers will send a fake verification code through email or text, posing to be a dating app or website. Once clicked on, it will ask for their personal information, including Social Security number and credit cards.

Inheritance Scams: Scammers will make their target believe they need to get married in order to get their inheritance. In this case, they will ask them to help pay for something like airfare.

Malware Scams: Malware is also common on dating sites. In this case, the recipient will interact with a scammer who sends them a website that looks legitimate; however, it's a page that includes malware.

Tips To Avoid Losing Money To a Romance Scam

  • Protect yourself and older loved ones by raising awareness. Although this can be an uncomfortable topic, make sure you, your family and your friends are familiar with romance scams. The more you know about these scams, the better prepared you are to prevent being a victim.
  • Check in on older loved ones. Scammers are seeking to target those living alone or grieving the loss of a spouse as they are more vulnerable.
  • Limit what you share online.Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.
  • Do your research.Research the individual’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the image, name or other details have been used elsewhere.
  • Go slowly and ask lots of questions.Don’t let the individual rush you to leave a dating service or social media site to communicate directly.
  • Listen to your gut.If the individual seems too good to be true, talk to someone you trust.
  • Don’t overshare personal information.Requests for inappropriate photos or financial information could later be used to extort you.
  • Be suspicious if you haven’t met in person.If the individual promises to meet in person, but consistently comes up with an excuse for cancelling, be suspicious.
  • Don’t send money.Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone.

Think you’ve been scammed?

  1. Stop communicating with the individual immediately.
  2. Talk to someone you trust and describe what’s going on.
  3. Report the incident to local law enforcement.
  4. Submit a fraud complaint with the Federal Trade Commission.

Dating scams can have devastating consequences on individuals seeking love and companionship online. It's crucial to be aware of the red flags and take necessary precautions to protect yourself from falling victim to these fraudulent schemes. Even if it’s too late to recoup losses, details may help others from becoming a victim.

 

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Jeff Motske, CFP®
May 22, 2018

“I have no interest in learning about finances. My [husband/wife] takes care of that.”

I have heard this statement from many clients throughout my career, and I understand the sentiment that prompts this response. Human nature has shown that when groups of people come together, they divvy up tasks to different individuals based on their strengths or roles in the group. You see this in many different groups, including families. My wife cooks dinner, and I’m great at taking out the garbage. With my siblings, I’m great at being the peacemaker while my sister knows how to shine a light on different perspectives. These established roles help our family units function smoothly and effectively…

Until one of the pieces of our unit is no longer around.

I’ve seen it far too many times. Clients come in distraught and overwhelmed because they’ve lost a loved one who typically acted as the family’s Chief Financial Officer. Sometimes they don’t know if there is a will or where legal documents are saved. Perhaps they are aware of a family safety deposit box, but they’re not sure where it is or how to access it. They aren’t sure about account balances or how to read statements. They may not even have access to critical accounts because the deceased was the one who knew the passwords. Now they are dealing with grief and heartbreak, compounded by confusion as to what the next steps are for maintaining their family’s financial solvency.

This is why I insist that both parties in a marriage are involved in financial planning meetings and decisions. I also recommend, especially for my senior clients, that other family members or loved ones are aware of the basics of their financial plans. It makes things so much simpler if all important documents, including a list of passwords, are stored together. If security is a concern, there are plenty of third party vendors that will virtually store that information for you. In most cases, though, a virtual safekeeper of your important information isn’t ideal. What is really needed is someone who will help guide your loved ones during that difficult time. That’s when a financial advisor can be an invaluable asset. I have had many Trilogy clients express how relieved they are to know that their financial advisor will be around to guide and assist the loved ones after he or she has passed. At Trilogy Financial, we don’t consider it a job. We consider it an honor and a calling.

There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. The truth is, it takes a village to care for anyone. Please make sure that your village is prepared and has the proper tools to take care of you. If you’re not sure where to begin, you may want to meet with a financial advisor. Our Trilogy Advisors are not only trained to assist your family on how to prepare for the future, but will also be there to provide support and service during a difficult and overwhelming time.

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
December 7, 2018

Giving to charitable causes can be a very emotional thing. You’re supporting something near to your heart, possibly with a deep personal connection. However, if you’re not mindful, it is possible to give at the expense of yourself. Be sure you don’t let your heartstrings control your purse strings.

Forethought and planning should extend over all your financial decisions, including charitable giving. For a variety of reasons, many don’t follow a plan. Some give whatever’s left in their budget, perhaps not as much as they’d like or tempting them to give more than they can afford. Others give at the end of the year for the tax break. Alternatively, perhaps charitable giving isn’t planned for at all, which allows one to be swayed by emotion when the right cause comes along. Suddenly, they can be committing based on what they feel rather than what’s best for their finances.

Once you decide to factor your charitable giving into your annual financial plan, you can start doing your research. Not only do you determine which causes you want to support, but you can also investigate various organizations that service that cause. There are many websites that evaluate charitable organizations to ensure that your financial contributions or going where you want. Additionally, having your charitable giving worked into your financial plan allows you to turn down other charitable requests graciously. Should you be approached, you can mention your annual giving plan and that you will consider them for the following year.

Being mindful about your charitable giving also gives you the opportunity to influence your children or loved ones on how to do the same. Your actions become the example to your values. While you needn’t share all the details, you can openly share how you formulated your plan and why. The more people who become aware of how to consciously create an annual giving plan, the more people are actively working towards their financial independence.

I don’t think it’s possible to take all emotion out of your connection to a charitable cause, and I don’t think you should. However, I will always be an advocate of folks proactively working towards their financial independence. The key to that is approaching your finances with reason and logic, relegating our emotions to the backseat and holding firm to your purse strings.

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today