The Uncomfortable Thing You Need to Talk About Before You Get Married

By the knot
February 1, 2019
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If you’re planning a wedding, this conversation is a must.

Having debt is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, according to CNBC, 70 percent of college students graduate with student loan debt (the most common type of debt faced by newlyweds).

But if you do have debt (or your partner does), the one thing you need to do—no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it feels—is discuss it with each other.

“It’s important you’re transparent, for better or worse,” says Jeff Motske, president and CEO of Trilogy Financial and author of The Couple’s Guide to Financial Compatibility. “Get it out on the table now, because there’s nothing worse than statements showing up in the mail or online and all of a sudden, you realize you’re both liable for paying off the debt.”

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No matter how much you and your partner have in common, investing will uncover differences. Maybe one likes playing it safe while the other relishes risk-taking. One wants to invest every available penny, while the other yearns to live it up now. Or perhaps you disagree on when to retire.

Differences are inevitable, says Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, founder of KBK Wealth Connection in Waitsfield, Vermont. “That’s the nature of a partnership.”

But some couples don’t discover their differences until they fester into conflicts. You can avoid discord by bringing financial topics into the open, finding common ground and compromising.

“Learning how to talk about and work through conflict will make you stronger partners,” says Kingsbury, author of “Breaking Money Silence: How to Shatter Money Taboos, Talk More Openly About Finances, and Live a Richer Life.”

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