How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

Jeff Motske, CFP®

October 8, 2018

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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

1. Will

A will is the cornerstone of any estate plan. This legal document outlines how you want your assets distributed and names an executor to oversee the process. A will can also designate guardians for minor children, ensuring their care and well-being. Without a will, your estate may undergo a lengthy and costly probate process, and your wishes may not be honored.

2. Letter of Intent

A letter of intent is a personal document that complements your will. While it is not legally binding, it can provide clarity and guidance to your executor and loved ones about your wishes. This letter can include details about asset distribution, heirlooms, and even funeral arrangements. Updating your letter of intent regularly ensures that it reflects your current wishes.

3. Power of Attorney

A power of attorney document allows you to appoint someone you trust to handle your financial and legal affairs if you become incapacitated. This person, often a family member or close friend, can manage your assets, pay bills, and make important decisions on your behalf. Understanding your state’s specific regulations can help you make informed decisions about this designation.

4. Health Care Directives

Health care directives are essential for addressing your medical needs in emergencies. Key documents include:

Living Will: Specifies your medical care preferences if you become incapacitated.
Durable Medical Power of Attorney: Authorizes someone to make medical decisions on your behalf.
HIPAA Release Clause: Allows medical professionals to share your health information with your designated proxy.

5. Estate Planning for Second and Third Marriages

Subsequent marriages add complexity to estate planning. Consider the following:

Prenuptial Agreements: Protect assets and provide clarity on ownership.
Updated Legal Documents: Ensure your estate plan reflects your new family structure.
Beneficiary Considerations: Update beneficiaries to include your new spouse, if desired.

6. Guardianship Designations

If you have minor children, naming guardians in your estate plan is vital. This ensures that someone you trust will care for your children if you are unable to do so. Consider naming a backup guardian as an additional safeguard.

7. Trusts

Trusts offer a flexible and private way to manage and distribute your assets. Benefits of trusts include:

Avoiding probate
Maintaining privacy
Providing effective asset management
Offering control over beneficiary distributions

8. Multi-Generational Wealth Planning

Multi-generational wealth planning is essential for ensuring that your financial legacy benefits future generations. This involves creating strategies that protect and grow your assets while considering the needs of your children and grandchildren.

9. Trust Fund Manager

A trust fund manager plays a critical role in managing and distributing your assets according to your wishes. This professional ensures that the trust operates smoothly and that beneficiaries receive their designated assets without delays or legal complications.

10. Advanced Estate Planning Strategies

Advanced estate planning strategies are designed to address the unique needs of high-net-worth individuals. These strategies may include setting up complex trusts, charitable giving, and tax optimization techniques to preserve and grow your wealth.

11. Philanthropic Financial Planning

Philanthropic financial planning allows you to support causes you care about while benefiting from potential tax advantages. Discovering philanthropic financial planning opportunities can help you make a positive impact while strategically managing your estate.

The Takeaway –

Creating a comprehensive estate plan involves careful consideration of various legal documents and strategies. At Trilogy Financial, we specialize in estate planning for high net worth families and individuals, providing tailored solutions to meet your unique needs.

Our team of estate planning lawyers for high net worth families and high net worth estate planning attorneys are here to guide you through every step of the process. If you have questions or need assistance, please reach out to us. We are here to help.

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Schedule a No-Strings-Attached Portfolio Review today and embark on a path to financial success guided by professional advisors. For more information and to schedule your consultation, visit www.trilogyfs.com/yourmoneyamplified. With the right knowledge and professional guidance, the journey of investing becomes an exciting venture towards achieving financial security and growth. This way, you're not just dreaming of an ideal retirement but actively working towards making it a reality.

Budgeting Advice

A Credit Card Free Holiday – Can it Happen?

Keegan Tanghe, AIF®

November 7, 2017

Don’t we all just love the holidays? Having a nice, large Thanksgiving meal with close family and friends? Unwrapping presents during Christmas or Hanukkah, seeing the big smiles on the young kids and grandkids as they rip open that favorite toy they begged for? It may be pure bliss during the months of November and December, but come January and February, when those credit card statements come in, the stress starts to set in.

According to the article here, the average person takes more than five months to pay off that holiday debt. Many more carry that into the next holiday season, hence carrying it indefinitely and having it snowball out of control. Many people just make the minimum payment on credit cards throughout the year, and then when the holidays come about, go crazy with buying up everything, their balance goes up, and so does that minimum payment, which they soon cannot afford to pay. Defaults on credit cards and people trying to do balance transfers or debt consolidation soon become the norm and the house of cards (literally) soon falls.

44% of people surveyed stated that they were stressed out because of that extra holiday debt. Among all age groups, Millennials were most likely to go into debt around the holidays. People ages 24-35 were most likely to say they went into debt this holiday season with a rate of 14.3%. With the exception of 45-54-year-olds, the likelihood of going into debt decreased with age. Seniors were least likely to say they went into debt, with a rate of 7.6%.

So how can we mitigate or eliminate this holiday debt altogether?

Start a holiday-saving account: Set aside a holiday or Christmas budget at the beginning of each year! The problem that many people run into is that they do not set a holiday season budget and just spend, spend, spend. We have many clients who save anywhere from $50-200/month starting in January, so that they have their full budget come the 4th quarter. Or, if you are out shopping throughout the year and see a great sale on something that a family member or close friend would like, feel free to buy it, to pace yourself. If it’s within the budget, you should be ok.

Change your tax withholdings: It’s also a proven fact that many people over-pay their taxes throughout the year, over-withholding on their paychecks. The average person pays their amount of taxes by the spring or summertime, and the rest of the year is just spent paying more to Uncle Sam, lining his pockets. We have had many clients who come through our office in the 3rd or 4th quarter, and after we look at their tax returns for the previous year, as long as everything is a constant, we ascertain that they have already paid all of their taxes for the year. They can then increase their withholdings on their paycheck, thus bringing in more income monthly, to allow them to pay for the holiday’s cash. Solution: no post-holiday blues. Then, come January, we would review the client’s situation again, many times working alongside their CPA, to help them get to more of a point of breaking even or getting just a small tax refund back at tax time. This would allow them to better plan out their budget for the year.

Can you change your schedule: Other things to consider to have a credit card-free holiday is to work overtime, if your job allows it, or if you get a bonus throughout the year, to set that aside for the holiday season. But don’t count on it, as you can’t always rely on bonuses, commissions, or pay raises to occur when you want them to.

If you are a people-person and don’t mind strangers in your car, consider driving for Lyft or Uber. I believe they offer tiered bonuses if you complete a certain amount of rides during your first 30 days of working and always have promotions going on. That’s an instant quick bonus for one or two months of work. Many retailers, as well as Amazon, hire hundreds or thousands of seasonal part-timers, to help with the holiday rush. Maybe you can even use that employee discount at that retail store you’d be working at to get a good deal on some presents. UPS and FedEx also hire extra drivers and warehouse employees to sort through all of those packages that are being delivered the last two months of the year.

Conclusion: Get creative and don’t get complacent. You can do this!

Action items:

Understand where your money actually went.

There are many great apps out there which can track your spending throughout the year, and help you stay up on things, so things don’t spiral out of control

Set a realistic budget of what you will spend on family, friends, co-workers, and even clients, if it merits it in your situation, so you don’t break the bank

Work with a trusted financial advisor/coach that can hold you accountable on your spending, so you can keep pace to reach your financial goals

Good luck and let us know your progress! Enjoy the holidays and create some lifetime memories!

[1] http://www.magnifymoney.com/blog/featured/americans-holiday-debt-added-1003-average-year/