How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

Jeff Motske, CFP®

October 8, 2018

Share on:

Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

I personally believe that one of the advantages of doing well financially is to be able to “give back” to causes that are near and dear to your heart. However, when we feel passionate about a cause, the emotional pull can tempt us to financially overextend ourselves. With some forethought, though, you can utilize creative measures that allow you to be generous without breaking the bank.

Your Time

Before you pull out your checkbook, perhaps consider getting your hands a little dirty. Whether it’s cleaning trash from the beach, working at a food pantry or assembling packages for our troops stationed far and wide, nonprofit organizations are powered by people. Even the simplest volunteer work can make a significant impact on an organization in need.

Your Talent

Some of us have specialized talents and skills that can be of value to a charitable organization. If you have an accounting background, perhaps you can offer your services to a nonprofit close to your heart. If you run a landscaping company, you can choose to donate your services to your alma mater. Such specialized services can be of great value to an organization and not make much of a dent in your personal finances.

Your Treasure

Just as there are different types of non-profit or charitable organizations, there are also different ways to financially contribute to them. Many of us are familiar with direct contributions, donations that may qualify to be deducted from your income tax. You could also contribute via donor-advised funds, which allows you to make charitable contributions to specially designated funds at a specific charity, receive a tax benefit from the contribution and recommend grants to be funded by the charitable fund account. Another option is to donate appreciated stock or appreciated real estate, which provides a significant tax deduction. Some choose to leave a charitable donation after they pass via a trust These gifts in trust can be tricky, so it is advisable to meet with a professional to avoid any issues. Additionally, there are those who prefer to utilize charitable gift annuities, which allows an individual to receive a fixed income after donating money, securities or real estate.

There are as many worthy charitable organizations as there are stars in the sky. When your funds won’t allow you to do more, there are always other ways to “give”. Doing so thoughtfully and creatively can ensure that everyone benefits.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax advice. We suggest that you discuss your specific tax issues with a qualified tax advisor.

https://www.nptrust.org/what-is-a-donor-advised-fund

Budgeting Advice

Financial Planning Actions to Take Before the New Year

Mike Loo, MBA

September 12, 2018

Before the year’s end, in the midst of the holiday events, travel, and overall busyness, the last thing you want to think about is tackling your finances. But considering how finance-related resolutions are the third most popular New Year’s resolution, why don’t you give yourself a head start on next year’s financial goals by finishing this year strong? Here are ten critical financial actions you’ll be glad you took when the ball drops on New Year’s Eve!

Amp Up Your Retirement Savings

If possible, max out your contributions to your 401(k) by the end of the year to make the most of your retirement savings. For 2018, you can contribute as much as $18,500 (or $24,500 if you are age 50 or older). You might also consider contributing to a Roth IRA. For 2018, you can contribute as much as $5,500 (or $6,500 if you are age 50 or older). Keep in mind that if your income is over $199,000 and you’re married filing jointly, you won’t be eligible to contribute to a Roth IRA.

Use Your Medical And Dental Benefits

Did you have good intentions of taking care of some dental work, blood tests, or other medical procedures? Now’s the time to take advantage of all your healthcare needs before your deductible resets. Dental plans in particular often have a maximum coverage amount. If you haven’t used up the full amount and anticipate any treatments, make an appointment before December 31st.

Verify Expiring Sick And Vacation Time

Depending on your company, your sick or vacation time might expire at the end of the year. Check with your HR department to learn about any expiration dates. If your sick or vacation time does expire, fit in a last-minute vacation, a staycation, or trips to the doctor to use up these benefits.

Use Your Flexible Spending Account

Like your health insurance benefits, you’ll want to use up your FSA (Flexible Spending Account) dollars by the end of the year. Your benefits won’t carry over and you’ll lose any unspent money in your account. Check the restrictions for your account to see what the money can and cannot be used for.

Double-Check RMDs

If you’re retired, review your retirement accounts’ required minimum distributions (RMDs). An RMD is the annual payout savers must take from their retirement accounts, including 401(k)s, SIMPLE IRAs, SEP IRAs, and traditional IRAs, when they turn 70½. If you don’t, you may face the steep penalty of 50% of the distribution you should have taken. To calculate your RMD, use one of the IRS worksheets.

Stay On Top Of Charitable Contributions

If you made a charitable contribution in 2018, you might be able to lower your total tax bill when you file early next year. It can be especially advantageous if you donated appreciated securities to avoid paying taxes on the gains. Along with your other tax documents, find and organize any receipts you have from your donations to charities, whether it was a cash, securities contribution, or another type of gift.

Review Your Insurance Coverages

A lot can happen in a year. As you experience life changes, from the birth of a child to marriage to a new career, it’s important to regularly review your insurance coverages and your designated beneficiaries. Now is the ideal time to review your current insurance policies and make sure they are up to date. You might also want to evaluate your need for other types of insurance you may not currently have, such as long-term care insurance.

Prepare For A Market Correction

We are currently in the longest bull market in history2 and the stock market just keeps hitting record highs3. But we know that what comes up must eventually come down. Prepare yourself and your money by sticking to a long-term strategy, rebalancing your portfolio, and keeping your emotions in check. As long as you are following sound investment principles, only investing long-term money, and keeping your assets within your risk tolerance, you should have no reason to panic when we experience a market downturn.

Talk To Your Kids About Money

The holidays are usually a time for families to get together and reconnect. Use this time intentionally by talking with your kids about money. No matter how old they are, you can give them sound wisdom that will set them up for success. Make sure they understand the importance of saving for retirement and having the proper amount of insurance coverage. Another way to help your kids financially is to create an estate plan to make sure you leave a legacy and avoid passing down a significant tax burden or legal headaches to your kids. If you’ve already taken the time and energy to create an estate plan, you’ll want to check in periodically to ensure all the documents are up to date and no major details have changed.

Give Without Gift Tax Consequences

It’s never too early to start planning for the legacy you want to leave your loved ones without sharing a good portion of it with Uncle Sam. You may want to consider gifting. Each year you can gift up to $14,000 to as many people as you wish without those gifts counting against your lifetime exemption of $5 million. If you’ve yet to gift this year or haven’t reached $14,000, consider gifting to your children or grandchildren by December 31st.

How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

You may also like:

Creative Generosity

Financial Planning Actions to Take Before the New Year

Services

Insights & Tools

About Us

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today