How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
October 8, 2018
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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

  1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
  2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
  3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

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By
Windus Fernandez Brinkkord, AIF®, CEPA
February 22, 2018

You just realized you need a budget. Whether it's because you'd like to be saving more money, you plan on investing in a retirement plan, or you want to straighten out your current finances, you know that having a reliable budget would make your life easier.

Creating a budget for the first time can be one of the most overwhelming experiences, especially when you're just starting to look critically at your financial situation.

Take a deep breath and don't stress out! There are just a few simple steps that you can take to reach a reliable, stable budget. I have some excellent pieces of advice that I give to all my clients, family members, friends, and even neighbors. Let me guide you on this financial journey.

Ready to get started?

__________________

Step One: Track all of your expenses

The first step to getting figuring out your finances is to figure out what you have been spending. Print your bank statements for the last three months and categorize each item in your statement on to a new spreadsheet. The Federal Trade Commission has a convenient website www.consumer.gov suggests categorizing every expense, including:

  • Car Expenses
  • Food
  • Clothing Expenses
  • Insurance
  • Credit Card Payments
  • Misc. Expenses
  • Entertainment/Going Out
  • School/Business Expense

Once you have your spending history, review your daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. Looking at the big picture and the tiny details all in one place can help you make small changes that have significant impacts on your finances. Reviewing all of this information lets you easily formulate your budget for next month without the hassle of digging through your bank statements.

Step Two: Set realistic goals

Start with a small, short-term goal. Set one finance goal to obtain over three months and use smaller milestones to meet the finish line you set for yourself. Use each week to reassess your goal and make adjustments as needed. When the goal is achieved, make another, and another, and another. Goals may require modifications, but it's an excellent way to set yourself up for financial success. You'll have something to be proud of every time you pass a milestone. And when the goal is reached? Reward yourself with something—that's still in your budget, of course.

Step Three: Make adjustments

I can't stress this enough—once the budget is set, don't be afraid to readjust as needed. There is no shame in making necessary changes to your budget. Situations change all the time, and nothing has to be concrete. Flexibility is key. Being rigid can make things harder for you and your family if something unexpected comes up and you need to spend more in one category than previously thought. Adjust smartly, not just because you want to splurge on a new gadget or pair of shoes.

Step Four: Never stop reviewing your budget

As I said in step three, adjustments are necessary. While you should remain flexible, if you notice that month after month, week after week, your budget seems to need changes, it's time to review. Reviewing your budget monthly will put your mind at ease if everything is going according to plan or allow you to see what hiccups caused you to veer off-course. Remember, no budget is perfect, and we all have to work towards a happy, balanced budget.

This is just a beginner's toolkit that can help you keep your budget in good health. These are my starting points that seeks to help you get to your financial happy place. There's no need to stress anymore. You don’t have to be perfect. I’ve seen too many people give up on budgeting because they made one mistake and got mad at themselves.  Give yourself the grace to be human.  As long as you are making more good decisions than bad ones over a long period of time, you can work towards getting to where get to where you want to be. You have a roadmap, and you can make your finances a priority quickly with just four simple steps.

By
Mike Loo, MBA
September 28, 2017

The world of financial planning is so incredibly diverse. And so it is with financial professionals, as well. The challenge that most people have is that by not being familiar with the various types of advisors; styles, approaches, licenses, abilities, qualifications, etc., it makes it hard to know what questions to ask in order to formulate an opinion as to whom to work with. People tend to go with their “gut feelings” about someone. And while that certainly can be an indicator as to what kind of working relationship one might have with a particular financial professional, it is equally, if not more, important to have objective information at hand for that decision-making time, as well.

There are a few questions that advisors rarely get asked, but should be asked. Sometimes these questions get avoided because the person asking might not even realize these questions are important. Past experiences drive many of the questions people ask. But if the goal is to be as informed as possible, it’s important not to forget to ask these three questions:

Question #1: Are you a fiduciary? And how do you get paid?

Not all financial professionals are fiduciaries. There are various types of securities registrations a financial professional can acquire; some are simply registrations to sell certain products, some are registrations to give advice (as opposed to just suitable recommendations for product sales). In other words, some financial professionals are “Registered Representatives (RR)” who are affiliated with a broker/dealer, with some securities registrations that allow them to sell products. While some financial professionals are “Investment Advisor Representatives (IAR)” who are affiliated with a Registered Investment Advisory firm, who have a few more/different registrations that allow them to be fiduciaries within the advisory services they offer their clients. Some professionals are both a Registered Representative and an Investment Advisor Representative. Others are not. Many consumers don’t know the differences. Below is a very basic breakdown.

Responsibilities to Client:

IARs – Fiduciaries. Are legally bound to do what is in the best interest of their clients…above all else.

RRs – Are responsible for making sure the products they sell to their clients are suitable.

Primary Responsibility/Function:

IARs – Primary responsibility is as an advisor to their clients

RRs – Sell securities and handle sales transactions for their clients

Compensation:

IARs – Generally charge a flat % fee for advice surrounding assets under management (AUM)

RRs – Tend to be commission based. They get paid commissions for products they sell.

Compliance and Regulations:

IARs – Are associated with Registered Investment Advisory (RIA) firms that are regulated by the SEC and/or state regulatory agencies.

RRs – Are regulated by FINRA (Financial Industry Regulatory Authority), along with the SEC and other state regulatory agencies.

Question #2: What is your particular expertise?

Not all financial professionals have niche markets….or only specific types of clients that they work with. But it’s important to know if they do. Understanding what kind of experience and typical clients the advisor has is important to understanding what to expect from them in regards to knowledge and experience that is relatable. Knowing what kind of team they have, and what kind of experience the team as a whole has is important. What do they specialize in? What resources do they have access to?

Here are some examples:

Tax efficiency with investments

Protection Planning – Estate planning collaboration

Small business owners

Multi-generational planning

Etc.

Question #3: What is your ongoing service model?

Taking the initial steps to get things organized and onboard with a financial advisor can be activity-filled and very important. But equally important is the clear communication about expectations for moving forward. Understanding what to expect between the advisor and client is critical to insuring that communication and expectations are being managed positively for the relationship, from both sides.

How often does the advisor reach out to clients?

Is there a team to support clients? Or just one individual?

What can be expected in regards to calls? Meetings? Paperwork? Statements?

What method of communication is used? Phone calls, meetings, email, video conferencing, etc.?

How accessible is the advisor if the client has a question?

These are just a few questions that might prove important to ask when interviewing financial professionals. There is no generic right or wrong answer. At the end of the day, it’s all about understanding what the relationship would be, the expectations for the relationship for both the client and the advisor, and communication. Being logical with interviewing an advisor is critical…look for proof and conviction between what they say they do vs. what they can prove they do.

Our financial well-being is critical for empowering our lives….we work hard for the life we want. And there are almost always some form of financial element to all we do. So please, don’t be afraid to ask the intrusive questions of the advisors you are considering working with. It could mean a great deal to how life gets funded….now and through all ages.

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today