5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing a Legacy Letter

By Trilogy Financial
February 3, 2025
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Imagine a recipe box that’s been passed down from your great grandmother. It sits on your kitchen counter, full of cards containing not just ingredient lists and cooking instructions,  but handwritten notes detailing memories about each meal. It’s these personal anecdotes that transform food into feeling through stories.

That’s how a legacy letter works. It’s a way to pass on what matters most to you.

What is a Legacy Letter?

Unlike a will that distributes material possessions, a legacy letter, sometimes known as an ethical will, passes on your values, life lessons, hopes, and personal history to future generations. It serves to bridge the gap between the tangible inheritance you might leave behind and the intangible wisdom you've gathered throughout your life.

While a legacy letter can complement a legal will, it should be thought of as a personal document rather than a legal directive. You can consider your legacy letter a conversation across time – a way to share yourself with your great-grandchildren and future generations.

What are the Benefits of Writing a Legacy Letter?

Your legacy letter will benefit both you as the writer and the letter’s recipients. For the writer, it offers the chance to reflect on and crystallize what matters most in your life. We find the process often brings clarity to our clients around their deepest values and the impact they hope their assets will have on their loved ones.

For recipients, your legacy letter can help ground them in their family history, which often gets reduced to dates and basic facts. Through your letter, you give them the gift of context, understanding, and connection. Your legacy letter becomes a way for your perspective and guidance to live on after you’re gone.

What are the Components of a Legacy Letter?

Just like your life, your legacy letter is entirely unique. And while there’s certainly no required formula for one, they most often include the following elements:

  1. Values and Beliefs: Explain not just what you believe in, but why. Share the experiences that challenged or reinforced your values.
  2. Life Lessons: Discuss both your successes and failures. What decisions are you most proud of? What would you do differently? Mistakes and vulnerable moments are often more effective teachers than perfection.
  3. Family Stories: Include meaningful anecdotes about family members, especially those your recipients never met. What family traditions hold special meaning and why?
  4. Hopes for the Future: Express your wishes for future generations without being prescriptive or giving explicit direction. Share the dreams you have for your family’s future.

Who Should You Share Your Legacy Letter With?

Most people write legacy letters primarily for their children and grandchildren, but you might also consider including other family members and close friends.

Having an idea of who your audience will be before you start writing will help you strike the right tone and include the most relevant content. Keep in mind that future generations will likely read your letter as well.

How and When to Share Your Legacy Letter

The timing and method of sharing your legacy letter deserve careful consideration. Some people choose to save their letters to be read after they pass, but there can be profound value in sharing your words and story while you’re still here, particularly during significant life moments such as a child’s graduation, before a wedding, or upon the birth of a grandchild.

If you decide to share your letter while living, you have several options:

Reading it aloud in person allows you to add context and emotion to your words and can lead to meaningful family discussions that encourage others to share their own stories.

Creating individual copies for each recipient lets them absorb your words privately and return to them often. Some people include photos or other meaningful documents alongside their letters.

Recording yourself reading your letter combines your words and your voice into a powerful audio-visual legacy that can also be relistened to as often as the recipient wants.

If you prefer your letter to be shared after your passing, ensure someone you trust knows where to find it and understands your wishes for its distribution. Consider including it with your other important documents or lodging it with your attorney.

Timing isn't just about when others receive your letter; it's also about when you write it. Don't wait for the “perfect” moment or until you feel you have all the answers. Your perspective and wisdom are valuable now, and you can always edit or write additional letters as you gain new insights or want to share different aspects of your story.

How to Get Started: Five Questions to Ask Yourself

Deciding to write your legacy letter is the first step, but it can be challenging to know exactly where to begin. We’ve found these questions help jumpstart the writing process:

  1. What moments of adversity have shaped who you are? Don't just list challenges you've overcome. Dig deeper into how these experiences changed your perspective and influenced your decisions, and share what you learned from your most difficult times that might help future generations navigate their own struggles?
  2. What family traditions or values do you want to share? Think beyond the obvious. Maybe your grandfather's habit of giving anonymous gifts to neighbors in need taught you about quiet generosity, or perhaps your mother's insistence on Sunday dinners wasn't just about food, but about creating unbreakable family bonds.
  3. What parts of your story might be lost if you don't share them? Consider the small but significant moments that shaped your path. Maybe it was a chance encounter that ultimately led you to your career, or a split-second decision that changed everything. It’s these personal details that often get lost in formal family histories but can be incredibly meaningful to future generations.
  4. What do you wish you knew about your own ancestors? Reflect on the questions you have about your family history. What gaps in your own family narrative do you wish were filled? Use these curiosities to guide what you share about yourself.
  5. What misunderstandings about your life choices do you want to clarify? Perhaps you made a later-in-life career change that seemed risky to others, or your decision to end a marriage wasn't fully understood. Your legacy letter offers the opportunity to share your reasoning and the wisdom that guided these choices, but take care not to sound defensive. The goal is to help your loved ones and future generations make their own choices that are best for them.

 

Some people find the thought of writing intimidating, but your legacy letter isn’t about being the most eloquent or perfectly polished. It’s about being authentic and genuine, keeping your audience in mind, and truly reflecting on what matters most in your life.

Start today. Your story matters, and future generations will be grateful you took the time to share it.

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
August 13, 2018

Money can be a complex thing. No, I’m not necessarily talking about the stock market or the emergence of cryptocurrencies. I’m talking about how every financial decision you make affects all the others. It sounds like a simple enough theory, but when it comes time to putting it into action, it’s often difficult to see through.

I see many clients who come in clearly stating their goals: they want to retire, they want to start their own business or pay for the children’s college education. They want to be financially independent. Yet, when we look at what they’re doing with their finances, we find that their actions may be working against their goals. That daily Starbucks habit has a different cost when you calculate how much you’ve spent in a given month that could have been used towards other expenses. For those who are constantly leasing new vehicles, those payments that never end take on a different perspective when you consider how they could have been applied to a down payment for a house.

We see it now with millennials struggling under immense student loan debt. While much of their income is funneled towards basic needs and paying down debt, little is left for necessary things like amassing an emergency fund and saving for retirement, let alone other milestones like purchasing a home. Putting off funding these other items can have a serious detrimental effect down the road. Furthermore, while millennials have grown to be the largest generations purchasing homes1, this major decision has prompted additional complications like borrowing from retirement to afford a down payment or underestimating ongoing maintenance cost. In fact, based on a survey by Bank of the West, 68 percent of millennial homeowners now have regrets about buying their home2 because every decision made truly impacted everything else.

Things can get especially tricky when decisions are being made by more than one person. Couples can have household goals, but if they’re not united in working towards them, these goals can often get sidelined. Perhaps they’re trying to save for a house, but one of them isn’t sticking to their plan. Maybe they’ve been diligently saving for retirement when one wants to take a major withdrawal to start their own business. Sometimes it can be as simple as not even bothering to discuss the household’s financial goals. Very often, if you’re not working together, you’re working against one another.

Please understand, I’m all for enjoying your hard-earned money. Sometimes, though, difficult choices have to be made. Perhaps it’s deciding to put off that trip with friends to pay off your credit card, or eating out less to build up your emergency fund. I remember being in that predicament when my family first moved into our home – we lived without furniture in two of the rooms! You see, the key to your personal financial success isn’t typically making more money. It’s really about being aware of your financial behavior and of how your daily financial decisions impact your long-term fiscal future.

1. https://www.housingwire.com/articles/42748-millennials-lead-all-other-generations-in-buying-homes

2. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/18/most-millennials-regret-buying-home.html

By
David McDonough
October 30, 2019

FIRE, an acronym for “Financial Independence, Retire Early” is trending as a new financial lifestyle.  In a nutshell, FIRE promotes extreme savings in your 20s, 30s, and 40s, with the goal of being able to live off passive income from the accumulated nest egg much earlier than typical retirement age.  Some proponents suggest saving 70% of your income until you have collected 25x your annual salary, cutting your working years in half.  Extreme saving is not a new idea, but the phrase has taken off in the last couple of years, creating a cult following online.

Putting aside additional savings to fund a “work optional” lifestyle is a fantastic idea in theory, but most Americans would find it quite difficult to only live on 30% of their income without making DRASTIC changes.  If you are willing to downsize, live with roommates in a cheaper part of town, eat beans and rice, drive an old car/take the bus, and limit purchases, you could be successful at FIRE.  However, this level of deprivation may cause unintended sacrifices that impact your social life and happiness.

Our take on FIRE is to find your happy medium.  For example, you absolutely should increase your savings rate incrementally every year if you can afford to do so, but initially choose an amount that’s attainable.  To help you get started, these are the questions we encourage clients to consider:

1) What is your current cash flow?

Do you have a firm grasp on how much you spend on monthly groceries?  Going out to eat? Gifts at the holidays for friends and family?  The key here is to consider all expenses, not just big-ticket fixed items like your car payment or mortgage.  Once you have an idea of how much you are spending compared to household income, you can then evaluate your current savings rate.

2) Where can you cut back to increase your savings rate?

Can you meal prep on Sundays to avoid going out for lunch during the week?  Can you stay in to watch a movie instead of going to a theater for date night?  Are you willing to have a “no-spend” week?  Some people use tracking software (our firm provides EMoney to our clients) to help set up electronic budgets to alert you when you are close to going over set categories of spending. Alternatively, can you bring in additional income via a side hustle?  Can you work additional hours at work to qualify for overtime pay?  Make an honest assessment to determine where you could potentially improve your cash flow on a monthly basis.

3) Are you debt-free, or leveraging debt appropriately?

A mortgage with a low-interest rate is an appropriate means of financing a lifestyle you want, while potentially building equity via real estate.  If you still have student loans or credit card debt, though, your increased cash flow should go towards paying this off ASAP. Just make sure you have 3-6 months of living expenses built up in an easily accessible emergency savings account as well.

4) Outside of your emergency savings, are your accounts keeping pace with inflation?

Historically, inflation rates average around 3% annually.  This means that your purchasing power decreases, as the cost of goods increases over time. Remember when you could buy a Coke bottle out of a vending machine for a dollar? Your parents or grandparents may even recall purchasing a soda for a quarter!  That’s inflation at work. If you’re planning to retire early, this means you need to account for inflation over several decades. The best way to maintain your purchasing power is by investing excess savings in the stock and bond markets and taking advantage of compounding interest over time. A Financial Advisor can determine the best investment strategy for you.

5) Are your investments in a diversified portfolio in line with your risk tolerance?

Trying to time the market to buy and sell holdings is incredibly difficult to do.  Diversification via broader index funds and investing consistently (to take advantage of pullbacks) has proven to be a more successful investment plan for most Americans.  The concern with the FIRE movement is knowing how risky you can or should be with your asset allocation depending on your time horizon to retirement.  For example, if you are closer to reaching your retirement goal, you don’t want 100% of your assets invested in the stock market.   A comprehensive financial planner can help determine how much risk you should be taking on by looking at your finances holistically, and ensuring portfolios are rebalanced regularly according to your needs.

The road to early retirement is still a long one, so you’ll need to regularly evaluate your progress, reassess as needed, and don’t forget to acknowledge small victories!

Our advice is to push yourself to save more, without going to the extremes of the FIRE lifestyle.  If you would like additional accountability, Trilogy offers progress checks through our Decision Coach process more frequently than annual reviews.  And if you need a road map to help find your path to success, reach out with any questions here.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine what is appropriate for you, consult a qualified professional.

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