4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

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November 26, 2018
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Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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By
Ahmed Ghulamali
September 26, 2017

What does retirement actually look like? Some people might say they will literally “turn in their papers”, go home, then putz around the house and tinker with projects for the rest of their life. Others might say they want to travel the world. Some might say they don’t actually want to “retire”, but would rather transition to work they are passionate about, without having to worry about what kind of income they receive. The bottom line is that we tend to have some idea of what we dream it to be. The problem is, there are factors that can contribute to turning our dreamy retirement into a complete nightmare.

Trying to predict that our retirement will end up being exactly as we have planned it to be is like shooting an arrow towards a bullseye as we are blindfolded. It COULD happen, but there are a lot of “what ifs” circling around our idea of a perfect retirement. For instance, what if we retire and expect to putz around the house doing projects for the rest of our life, and find that by week three we are bored out of our mind, yet we didn’t prepare or invest in doing anything different? What if we expected to travel the world, but before retiring, develop health issues that prevent us from being able to do so? The “what ifs” can be a real game changer, not only to what we get to do, but how we would be prepared to pay for it.

Here are some tips to consider when thinking about how to prepare for retirement:

Retirement vs. Financial Independence. Trying to decide now, at our current age, what retirement has to be can be quite stressful. Maybe we don’t have a clue what it should look like in regards to activities and how we will spend our time. So instead of trying to define what retirement might look like, maybe focus on working towards financial independence. Financial independence means over the course of a long-term, disciplined effort, we work with our advisors to help us make financial and protection planning decisions that lead to financial strength over time. Disciplined effort and long-term commitment are key factors when trying to build financial security. This might prove helpful with preparing for whatever retirement ends up looking like.

Planning before Investing. There are thousands of licensed financial professionals whom would love nothing more than to manage our assets by investing in the market. Many go into this with the sole goal of simply “growing assets”. They tend to focus on returns, and believe that we only want to hear that our investments are “going up” consistently. Seeing our account values “go up” is all the satisfaction they think we desire. And with that, they tend to feel like we are on track for retirement. BUT, this is not a guarantee. We can’t predict or control the markets, so this is an example of shooting that arrow blindfolded, hoping we land in the middle. Instead, consider focusing on what your assets need to DO. What job do our assets have? Knowing what the job is upfront will help us make more informed decisions not only on how to invest, but with what kind of risk we can afford to subject ourselves to. Risk management might prove just as critical as growing assets.

Start NOW! Financial planning for retirement could prove far more difficult if we wait to the last minute, vs. making effort starting now. It might seem daunting to think we have to “do everything at once”, but focusing on our future needs is just as important as focusing on our current needs. It might seem difficult to do everything at once, but that’s why working with a financial advisor who values planning prior to investing blindly might prove helpful.

We are all unique in what our lives and dreams are. And whether we are focused on exactly what we want retirement to be, or simply have no idea, the common theme is that the closer we are to having financial independence, the better chance we have of being more prepared. Financial independence shines the light on our options, which might help to make our dreams come true.  And just like when we were kids in a dark room, the nightmares tend to not go away until we turned on the lights!

By
Mike Loo, MBA
July 12, 2018

There may be plenty of factors outside of your control that impact your financial situation, such as the markets, the economy as a whole, or an unexpected illness. But those circumstances may not play as critical of a role in your financial life as you might think. The real dangers to your financial future are the lies you tell yourself when it comes to financial planning. Here are some ways you could be undermining your financial success and some ideas on how to change course.

Lie #1: I Don't Need Help. I Know What I'm Doing

Let’s say you read a plethora of financial planning books, stay up-to-date on the markets, and know all about budgeting software. That may put you ahead of a lot of other people, but there are certain aspects of financial planning that often go ignored even by the most knowledgeable people. Let’s look at a couple of hypothetical examples.

How Often Do You Review?

How often do you refresh your goals, adjust your plan, and determine how and when to make changes? A financial planner does more than just monitor your portfolio. They act as your coach, motivating and guiding you when things get tough. They bring an objective perspective to the table and develop a customized strategy based on your financial priorities. The end result is increased confidence in your financial strategies and decision-making. You don’t want to suffer a financial setback just because you were too busy or too forgetful to keep up with your financial plan.

In Case of Emergency

What if the unthinkable were to happen and you couldn’t make financial decisions? Will your family be able to handle the details and figure out your financial plan? An advisor can offer a holistic overview of your net worth and determine what elements need to be in place to protect your family and your wealth. These are often things you may not be aware of, such as life insurance or a living trust.

Market Research

Investing is tricky business on a good day. Can you manage the emotions, anxiety, and possible second-guessing of your investment choices if you were living on a fixed income and the market were to face a correction? An advisor has tools to evaluate cash flow to help you determine the probability of your money lasting through your retirement years. They can also keep you accountable and committed to your long-term strategy in the midst of market ups and downs.

Lie #2: I Can Always Get Help When I Need It

If you were going on vacation, would you rather have everything packed ahead of time and enjoy your restful break? Or would you prefer to be disorganized and arrive without essential items, forced to then spend your time off running around shopping for things you forgot? When it comes to money, it’s the same idea. When you really need the help, you may have lost your most valuable resource – time. Instead of thoughtfully researching your options and making decisions with a clear head, waiting until you need help will result in a frantic scramble to just get things done.

Whatever it is you experience in life, having a financial planner on your team will help you stay on top of your money and prepare in advance for future milestones and events.

Lie #3: I Don't Need An Advisor, I Have Financial Technology

Financial planning has evolved. Years ago, it was about who had the most up to date information on a company to buy a stock, and the planning industry was mostly concerned with buying and selling stocks and bonds rather than portfolio management. Today, financial planning is more about what’s missing in your overall strategy, what have you not thought of, and what could you be doing that you’re not. On top of that, the financial planning process helps you emotionally connect with your goals so you can get on the right track. Technology, at the present time, can’t do that.

Technology has many good points, but several drawbacks as well. For example, you can find more information than you’ll ever need, but you’ll also come across plenty of misinformation which could lead you astray. It’s not uncommon for someone to research something on the Internet and find just as many pros as there are cons. If you want to save for your child’s college education, you’ll find articles touting the value of using a 529, a Roth IRA, or a Roth 401(k). How do you figure out which one is truly right for you? The abundance of information has created so much noise that in many cases, people don’t do anything at all.

While technology should be used in financial planning, it should not replace the role of an advisor. The importance of what advisors do from a human aspect is help clients sift through the noise and misinformation and encourage them to move forward in taking action.

A Change In Perspective?

Have you ever believed one of these lies? It’s easy to do, but the consequences are real. Don’t take a gamble with your money. Join forces with a financial advisor who can help you make the most of what you have, where you are, and get you positioned for a bright financial future. Call my office at (949) 221-8105 x 2128, or email me at michael.loo@lpl.com for a no-strings-attached meeting to discuss your situation.

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today