4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

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November 26, 2018
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Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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By
Darcy Borella, CFP®
February 1, 2018

If you're one of the millions of Americans who received, or are expecting to receive, a tax refund, you are probably trying to decide how to spend it. The average refund this year is around $3,000, a nice chunk of change to throw at one of your goals. Rather than impulse buying that new Apple iWatch or splurging at Sephora, make the best use of this windfall by putting it towards improving your financial situation.

Build Up An Emergency Fund

Some very good friends of mine woke up recently to find that their downstairs had flooded from a burst pipe on the second level. They had to rip up their hard wood floors, replace furniture, and even replace some of the walls. Luckily, their bedroom and their child's nursery was spared, but THIS type of unexpected event is exactly why you need an emergency fund. If they didn't have cash readily available in a savings account, they might have been tempted to put charges for repairs and replacements on a high-interest credit card. Depending on your situation, you should ideally have 3-6 months of regular expenses in the bank. Use your tax refund to start, or top off, your rainy day fund.

Pay Off Debt

The power of compounding interest can work in your favor when investing, but it can also cause debt to grow faster than you might think. Credit card companies apply their interest fees to the amount that you owe initially. But every month (and sometimes every DAY!) after that, the compounding interest will apply to the principal, as well as the previous month's interest. If you want to apply the snowball method, apply your refund to the smallest account you can close out. Alternatively, you can use the “Avalanche” method, and put your refund towards the card with the highest interest rate. Paying off the smallest account might feel good, but if you have double digit interest accruing on a card, get that debt paid off as fast as you can. Take the windfall from your refund and put it towards cleaning up your personal balance sheet.

Fund an Individual Retirement Account

IRAs are one of the greatest savings vehicles you can have for retirement. These vehicles allow you to invest in the market outside of any employer-sponsored plans (like a 401K) with tax-free growth (no capital gains!) until retirement. There are two types of IRAs that are available to the general public: Roth IRAs and Traditional IRAs. With a Roth, you contribute post-tax dollars and don't have to pay income taxes on any distributions in retirement. There is, however, a phase-out limit based on income. With a traditional IRA, you do pay income taxes on distributions in retirement. However, contributions made could be tax-deductible for that tax year (contributions made from January 1st of the current year through April 15th of the following year). As of now, individuals can contribute up to $5,500 per year ($6,500 if you’re age 50 or older), or your taxable compensation for the year, if your compensation was less than this dollar limit.

Monetize Other Financial Goals

Planning to take a big family vacation to Disneyland in 5 years? Dreaming of owning a house but need to build up a sizable down payment? Wondering how you are going to pay for your pre-teen's college tuition? If you have any intermediate goals (prior to retirement), consider opening a brokerage account to help your money grow more efficiently. Statistically, the stock market has more up years than down, and historically, has recovered from those down years relatively quickly. If you have time on you side, consider monetizing these goals by participating in the market at a level that is in line with your risk tolerance.

But If You Must, Splurge…A Little

If you just can't help it, take a small percentage of your refund to treat yourself. Whether it's a nice dinner, a manicure, or checking out a movie with your spouse, take a minute to blow off some steam. Keep this amount small though as the path to wealth is paved with good decisions. Start making good habits today to delay gratification and secure a financial safety net in your future.

By
Mike Loo, MBA
September 28, 2017

The world of financial planning is so incredibly diverse. And so it is with financial professionals, as well. The challenge that most people have is that by not being familiar with the various types of advisors; styles, approaches, licenses, abilities, qualifications, etc., it makes it hard to know what questions to ask in order to formulate an opinion as to whom to work with. People tend to go with their “gut feelings” about someone. And while that certainly can be an indicator as to what kind of working relationship one might have with a particular financial professional, it is equally, if not more, important to have objective information at hand for that decision-making time, as well.

There are a few questions that advisors rarely get asked, but should be asked. Sometimes these questions get avoided because the person asking might not even realize these questions are important. Past experiences drive many of the questions people ask. But if the goal is to be as informed as possible, it’s important not to forget to ask these three questions:

Question #1: Are you a fiduciary? And how do you get paid?

Not all financial professionals are fiduciaries. There are various types of securities registrations a financial professional can acquire; some are simply registrations to sell certain products, some are registrations to give advice (as opposed to just suitable recommendations for product sales). In other words, some financial professionals are “Registered Representatives (RR)” who are affiliated with a broker/dealer, with some securities registrations that allow them to sell products. While some financial professionals are “Investment Advisor Representatives (IAR)” who are affiliated with a Registered Investment Advisory firm, who have a few more/different registrations that allow them to be fiduciaries within the advisory services they offer their clients. Some professionals are both a Registered Representative and an Investment Advisor Representative. Others are not. Many consumers don’t know the differences. Below is a very basic breakdown.

Responsibilities to Client:

IARs – Fiduciaries. Are legally bound to do what is in the best interest of their clients…above all else.

RRs – Are responsible for making sure the products they sell to their clients are suitable.

Primary Responsibility/Function:

IARs – Primary responsibility is as an advisor to their clients

RRs – Sell securities and handle sales transactions for their clients

Compensation:

IARs – Generally charge a flat % fee for advice surrounding assets under management (AUM)

RRs – Tend to be commission based. They get paid commissions for products they sell.

Compliance and Regulations:

IARs – Are associated with Registered Investment Advisory (RIA) firms that are regulated by the SEC and/or state regulatory agencies.

RRs – Are regulated by FINRA (Financial Industry Regulatory Authority), along with the SEC and other state regulatory agencies.

Question #2: What is your particular expertise?

Not all financial professionals have niche markets….or only specific types of clients that they work with. But it’s important to know if they do. Understanding what kind of experience and typical clients the advisor has is important to understanding what to expect from them in regards to knowledge and experience that is relatable. Knowing what kind of team they have, and what kind of experience the team as a whole has is important. What do they specialize in? What resources do they have access to?

Here are some examples:

Tax efficiency with investments

Protection Planning – Estate planning collaboration

Small business owners

Multi-generational planning

Etc.

Question #3: What is your ongoing service model?

Taking the initial steps to get things organized and onboard with a financial advisor can be activity-filled and very important. But equally important is the clear communication about expectations for moving forward. Understanding what to expect between the advisor and client is critical to insuring that communication and expectations are being managed positively for the relationship, from both sides.

How often does the advisor reach out to clients?

Is there a team to support clients? Or just one individual?

What can be expected in regards to calls? Meetings? Paperwork? Statements?

What method of communication is used? Phone calls, meetings, email, video conferencing, etc.?

How accessible is the advisor if the client has a question?

These are just a few questions that might prove important to ask when interviewing financial professionals. There is no generic right or wrong answer. At the end of the day, it’s all about understanding what the relationship would be, the expectations for the relationship for both the client and the advisor, and communication. Being logical with interviewing an advisor is critical…look for proof and conviction between what they say they do vs. what they can prove they do.

Our financial well-being is critical for empowering our lives….we work hard for the life we want. And there are almost always some form of financial element to all we do. So please, don’t be afraid to ask the intrusive questions of the advisors you are considering working with. It could mean a great deal to how life gets funded….now and through all ages.

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