4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

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November 26, 2018
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Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
November 9, 2018

I personally believe that one of the advantages of doing well financially is to be able to “give back” to causes that are near and dear to your heart. However, when we feel passionate about a cause, the emotional pull can tempt us to financially overextend ourselves. With some forethought, though, you can utilize creative measures that allow you to be generous without breaking the bank.

Your Time

Before you pull out your checkbook, perhaps consider getting your hands a little dirty. Whether it’s cleaning trash from the beach, working at a food pantry or assembling packages for our troops stationed far and wide, nonprofit organizations are powered by people. Even the simplest volunteer work can make a significant impact on an organization in need.

Your Talent

Some of us have specialized talents and skills that can be of value to a charitable organization. If you have an accounting background, perhaps you can offer your services to a nonprofit close to your heart. If you run a landscaping company, you can choose to donate your services to your alma mater. Such specialized services can be of great value to an organization and not make much of a dent in your personal finances.

Your Treasure

Just as there are different types of non-profit or charitable organizations, there are also different ways to financially contribute to them. Many of us are familiar with direct contributions, donations that may qualify to be deducted from your income tax. You could also contribute via donor-advised funds, which allows you to make charitable contributions to specially designated funds at a specific charity, receive a tax benefit from the contribution and recommend grants to be funded by the charitable fund account. Another option is to donate appreciated stock or appreciated real estate, which provides a significant tax deduction. Some choose to leave a charitable donation after they pass via a trust  These gifts in trust can be tricky, so it is advisable to meet with a professional to avoid any issues. Additionally, there are those who prefer to utilize charitable gift annuities, which allows an individual to receive a fixed income after donating money, securities or real estate.

There are as many worthy charitable organizations as there are stars in the sky. When your funds won’t allow you to do more, there are always other ways to “give”. Doing so thoughtfully and creatively can ensure that everyone benefits.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax advice. We suggest that you discuss your specific tax issues with a qualified tax advisor.

  1. https://www.nptrust.org/what-is-a-donor-advised-fund
By
Windus Fernandez Brinkkord, AIF®, CEPA
January 8, 2019

There are so many passwords that people need to remember these days. You have your online passwords, your wi-fi passwords, the passwords you use at work, and more. It can be enough to drive you crazy. By the time you think of yet another original password, you have forgotten the last one. It can be a little easier, however, if you follow the following Dos and Don’ts. DON’T use a password that is easy to guess. That means no password 123 or admin 2018. Don’t use something anyone could figure out, like your birthday, dog’s name, or your address. DO choose a password that only you could figure out, such as the embarrassing moment you never told anyone about or the name of the fish you overfed as a child.

DON’T share your password. Unless it is an account that you and your spouse share, there is no reason to give your account information to someone else. Remind your kids of this too. Many kids give their passwords to friends, which can lead to trouble down the line.

DO make sure your password has a combination of uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numbers, and special characters. Each website will have their own rules about what is required. Make sure it is at least six characters long, too, because length can contribute to the security of the password. For example, sTE”vE218 is a lot harder to crack then STEVE218. The trickier you can be the better.

DO use underscores or spaces. If the system will allow you to, this is a great choice. Not many people who are trying to guess a password will consider spaces or underscores. Trying to decide where you inserted them is even harder.

DON’T use the same password for multiple accounts. If someone is trying to steal your information and they figure out one password, you don’t want them to have the keys to your kingdom. It is much smarter to have a different password for each site to protect your assets.

DON’T make your password so difficult that you cannot remember it. If you notice a spider outside the window as you set your new work password and you make your password SPIDER875, there is a good chance that you will not remember it the next day. While the password has to be hard for other people to guess, it should be easy for you to remember.

DO have a password to protect your passwords. If you have all of your passwords saved to your computer and you are the only one that uses your computer, you can add a second layer of protection. Choose the option to have a password on your laptop. Then you can allow Google to save your passwords for each site you visit, but no one can access them because your laptop itself is password protected.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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