4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
November 26, 2018
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Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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By
Mike Loo, MBA
July 12, 2018

There may be plenty of factors outside of your control that impact your financial situation, such as the markets, the economy as a whole, or an unexpected illness. But those circumstances may not play as critical of a role in your financial life as you might think. The real dangers to your financial future are the lies you tell yourself when it comes to financial planning. Here are some ways you could be undermining your financial success and some ideas on how to change course.

Lie #1: I Don't Need Help. I Know What I'm Doing

Let’s say you read a plethora of financial planning books, stay up-to-date on the markets, and know all about budgeting software. That may put you ahead of a lot of other people, but there are certain aspects of financial planning that often go ignored even by the most knowledgeable people. Let’s look at a couple of hypothetical examples.

How Often Do You Review?

How often do you refresh your goals, adjust your plan, and determine how and when to make changes? A financial planner does more than just monitor your portfolio. They act as your coach, motivating and guiding you when things get tough. They bring an objective perspective to the table and develop a customized strategy based on your financial priorities. The end result is increased confidence in your financial strategies and decision-making. You don’t want to suffer a financial setback just because you were too busy or too forgetful to keep up with your financial plan.

In Case of Emergency

What if the unthinkable were to happen and you couldn’t make financial decisions? Will your family be able to handle the details and figure out your financial plan? An advisor can offer a holistic overview of your net worth and determine what elements need to be in place to protect your family and your wealth. These are often things you may not be aware of, such as life insurance or a living trust.

Market Research

Investing is tricky business on a good day. Can you manage the emotions, anxiety, and possible second-guessing of your investment choices if you were living on a fixed income and the market were to face a correction? An advisor has tools to evaluate cash flow to help you determine the probability of your money lasting through your retirement years. They can also keep you accountable and committed to your long-term strategy in the midst of market ups and downs.

Lie #2: I Can Always Get Help When I Need It

If you were going on vacation, would you rather have everything packed ahead of time and enjoy your restful break? Or would you prefer to be disorganized and arrive without essential items, forced to then spend your time off running around shopping for things you forgot? When it comes to money, it’s the same idea. When you really need the help, you may have lost your most valuable resource – time. Instead of thoughtfully researching your options and making decisions with a clear head, waiting until you need help will result in a frantic scramble to just get things done.

Whatever it is you experience in life, having a financial planner on your team will help you stay on top of your money and prepare in advance for future milestones and events.

Lie #3: I Don't Need An Advisor, I Have Financial Technology

Financial planning has evolved. Years ago, it was about who had the most up to date information on a company to buy a stock, and the planning industry was mostly concerned with buying and selling stocks and bonds rather than portfolio management. Today, financial planning is more about what’s missing in your overall strategy, what have you not thought of, and what could you be doing that you’re not. On top of that, the financial planning process helps you emotionally connect with your goals so you can get on the right track. Technology, at the present time, can’t do that.

Technology has many good points, but several drawbacks as well. For example, you can find more information than you’ll ever need, but you’ll also come across plenty of misinformation which could lead you astray. It’s not uncommon for someone to research something on the Internet and find just as many pros as there are cons. If you want to save for your child’s college education, you’ll find articles touting the value of using a 529, a Roth IRA, or a Roth 401(k). How do you figure out which one is truly right for you? The abundance of information has created so much noise that in many cases, people don’t do anything at all.

While technology should be used in financial planning, it should not replace the role of an advisor. The importance of what advisors do from a human aspect is help clients sift through the noise and misinformation and encourage them to move forward in taking action.

A Change In Perspective?

Have you ever believed one of these lies? It’s easy to do, but the consequences are real. Don’t take a gamble with your money. Join forces with a financial advisor who can help you make the most of what you have, where you are, and get you positioned for a bright financial future. Call my office at (949) 221-8105 x 2128, or email me at michael.loo@lpl.com for a no-strings-attached meeting to discuss your situation.

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
March 7, 2019

A tax refund isn’t winning the lottery. It isn’t a gift. It’s the return of your money, money that you’ve earned that the government has been holding. At a time when you need your money to be working for you, you can’t afford to have your money do nothing, not even earn interest. Rather, your money needs to be working towards your financial freedom.

The issue with a large tax refund is that the money that has been withheld throughout the year could have been working for you all along. Rather than have it deducted, you could have been paying down debt, contributing to your emergency fund or investing it for your future. Yes, you can definitely do those same things with your tax refund. However, now you’ve missed out on the time your money was being held where it could have been earning interest or saving you money by paying off debt sooner.

While I am a firm believer in minimizing your withholdings throughout the year, I know that this shines a light on an individual’s sense of discipline. You need to make sure that you’re applying the additional funds where they need to go, which is not the retail fund or other expenses that aren’t working towards your future. Automatic transfers for both savings and investment accounts make it convenient to get your money to work for you. Another consequence of having a minimal amount withheld throughout the year is that you could owe the government come tax season. Once again, this supports the need for saving and being disciplined with your money.

You’ve put in a lot of hard work for your money. Not only should it be a means to your financial independence, it should be a tool that you can access right away. Take advantage of your money today to ensure that you get where you want to go tomorrow.

This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax advice. We suggest that you discuss your specific tax issues with a qualified tax advisor.

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