What To Do When Your Parents Gift Money To You Or Your Children

By
Mike Loo, MBA
January 9, 2019
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A recent survey found that among Millennial parents, nearly half have received financial support from their Baby Boomer parents in the past year, and 69% received financial support specifically for their own young children.(1) Another poll found that 3 in 4 parents with adult children have helped them pay both debts and living expenses.(2)

Clearly, it is common practice nowadays for parents to provide financially for both their adult children and their grandchildren. Many Baby Boomers are at a place where they are financially secure and have the desire to give their kids a leg up from where they were at the same age. For 2019, up to $15,000 can be gifted from one individual to another without having any tax effects. Many parents are reaching that limit with their gifts to their adult children for their own expenses and gifts to their grandchildren to fund their education and contribute towards their future well-being.

When Your Parents Give You Money

One-Time Gifts

The first thing you have to do is decide what to do with the money. Whether or not it is a one-time gift or will be ongoing will greatly influence your decision. If it is a one-time gift, it likely cannot be used to enhance your current lifestyle. Rather, you could use it to strengthen your current position by paying down debt. You could also use it for a one-time luxury, such as a vacation. Another good use would be to invest it to prepare for the future.

Of course, what you choose to do with the money will depend greatly upon your current financial situation and goals. If you decide to save it for the future, that brings up another set of questions. Where should you put the money? What kind of investment opportunities are available? How soon do you plan on needing it? The answer to each of those questions will determine what you do with the money, whether you put it in a money market account, invest in a brokerage account, or use it to fund your retirement accounts.

Ongoing Gifts

Though they are usually more beneficial, ongoing gifts are actually harder to plan for. You have to ask the same questions as above, but you also have many more options. If it will be a regular gift, you could use it to enhance your lifestyle instead of merely paying down debt or taking a vacation. Or you could use it to take advantage of a business opportunity that wouldn’t be feasible otherwise.

The hard part about ongoing gifts is knowing how safe it is to depend on them. If you make decisions based on the gift, what happens if it doesn’t come or is given sporadically? Many people fear sounding greedy or ungrateful if they ask their parents about money that they expected to receive but didn’t. The dependability of the gift money and the kind of relationship you have with your parents should be taken into account when planning for ongoing gifts.

One thing to be careful of, especially with ongoing gifts, is to not let it affect the stewardship of your own money. It is easy to change good habits and loosen the reins on your spending when you have extra money coming in. But is that wise?

Your parents are giving you money because they want to help you. Are they really helping you if you are simply becoming more careless? You should apply the same careful money habits as you would without the gift, even if it creates enough margin where you wouldn’t have to. Remember, what your parents give you is a gift. It is not required nor guaranteed, and you should manage it with that in mind.

When Your Parents Give Your Children Money

A lot of the same issues apply when your parents gift your children money or give it directly to you but for their benefit, especially when you aren’t sure if the gift will be regular and are not comfortable asking.

First, you need to decide if you should use it to meet current needs or future ones. If you save the money for your children’s college education, it could help them pay for a better school, get a better job, and avoid student debt. But if the money is spent today, it could pay for their childcare and thereby enable you to save more for retirement or get a house in a better school district, which could lead to a better education, admission to better colleges, and scholarships to avoid debt. There is no one right answer and it requires careful consideration of your family’s own unique circumstances and priorities.

College Funding

If you do decide to save the money for your children’s future, that brings up another host of questions. Where is the best place to put the money until you need it? A savings account? A 529 Plan? An UTMA? The answer will depend on a number of factors, including how liquid you want the money to be without penalties and how much control you want to maintain over the money. There are a number of options available to you, each with its advantages and disadvantages.

When saving for college, you need to have a target goal in mind. It is important to estimate the cost of college for your child in order to measure how much you need to be investing, the types of investments you should use, and to monitor your progress. Another reason to have a set goal is to avoid overfunding a college account. There should be a stopping point where you no longer invest in a 529 but rather divert the funds elsewhere. While leftover 529 accounts can be transferred to family members or have the funds removed with penalties, it may be better to simply avoid overfunding them in the first place.

Multiple Children

Having multiple children makes things even more complex because it can be hard to keep things fair and equitable. What happens when your parents, who gave a lot towards your firstborn, begin to taper off the gifts with subsequent children? Or perhaps the same amount was given, but it was divided by more and more children? What can you do so that the later children are not at a disadvantage?

Also, what happens when the gifts begin after you already have more than one child? If your parents start funding a college account when your first child is 5 and your second is 1, then the second may end up with a much higher balance upon entrance to college. What can you do and what should you do to help balance things out?

How I Can Help

These are some of the questions that arise when parents gift money to their adult children and grandchildren. Depending on the scenario, things can quickly become complex. Not only do you have to decide what to do with the money, weighing the benefits and opportunity costs, but you have to decide the best way to accomplish your goals with that money.

This is a common situation that my clients find themselves in when they turn to me for help. Together, we first determine the circumstances in which the money was given and the intent behind it. If your parents had a specific purpose in giving you the money, it is often best to honor that purpose.

Next, we discuss how you can use the money in a way that doesn’t distract you from your goals or cause you to become financially irresponsible. We talk through different scenarios in advance and address the “what-ifs” that could occur in each in order to develop a solid plan. My clients really enjoy having me there as a sounding board to bounce ideas off of, as well as to hear my insights based on the experience that I have had myself and with other clients.

If you’ve found yourself the recipient of financial gifts from your parents, or just need someone to help you sort through your own finances, call me at (949) 221-8105 x 2128 or email me at michael.loo@lpl.com. I would love to partner with you so that you can make wise financial decisions to build a secure future for you and your family.

(1) https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/2017/Millennial-Parents-Survey-Key-Findings.pdf

(2) https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/pay-adult-childrens-debt-poll.php

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By
David McDonough
February 22, 2021

Preparation for retirement is extremely important, and it extends well beyond finances. In addition to knowing how you’re going to fund it, you also need to know what your time will look like when you say you’re done with being a wage earner. With this new lifestyle, you not only need to determine how to fill up the hours in the day, but you also need to determine what your new purpose is. This can be a pretty significant task, which becomes even more complicated when you add another person to the equation. That’s why you need to work on your retirement compatibility with your partner way before you stop working.

Retirement Compatibility is a tricky thing. Statistics show that half of the couples disagree on their retirement age —and a third don’t see eye-to-eye about their expected lifestyle in retirement[i]. This is troubling as there are a lot of logistics you need to determine in this new chapter of your life. Will you be retiring at the same time? Typically, only 1 in 10 couples retire together[ii]. If you and your partner are planning on retiring at different times, you may want to look into how this change affects your health insurance. You may also want to consider re-establishing household roles. Equally important, you will need to find common ground on your retirement budget as it will require commitment from both parties.

Oftentimes, the difficulties in transitioning from a wage-earner to a retiree can go beyond the logistics. Some experience a period of depression as they look for a new purpose in life. As tempting as it may be, that new purpose shouldn’t be your partner. If you don’t plan correctly, you will suffer from what I call too much togetherness. This can be a very real strain on relationships. Instead, look at your life as being divided into “You Time, Me Time, and We Time.” To aid in this transition, you may want to try winding down your career gradually in order to practice retirement. This can prove to be a benefit to both yourself as you experiment with this new stage in your life and your employer as you stay on to train and mentor your replacement.

Start working on your retirement compatibility with your partner with regular financial date nights. Start discussing how you envision that new chapter in your life. What type of lifestyle do you want to live? Will there be a lot of dinners out with friends or home-cooked meals watching your favorite television show? Will you be traveling or developing a new passion? Will you work part-time or volunteer? Communication is key. Share your plans with your partner so that the two of you stay on the same page and prevent incorrect assumptions from being made.

Retirement, a lifestyle of six Saturdays and one Sunday, can be either a wonderful time or a stressful transition, depending on your planning. Make sure you and your partner’s planning extends beyond finances to ensure a smooth and joyous new chapter in your lives.

[i] https://www.fidelity.com/bin-public/060_www_fidelity_com/documents/couples-retirement-fact-sheet.pdf

[ii] https://assets.aarp.org/rgcenter/general/retired_spouses.pdf

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine what is appropriate for you, consult a qualified professional.

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
August 13, 2018

Money can be a complex thing. No, I’m not necessarily talking about the stock market or the emergence of cryptocurrencies. I’m talking about how every financial decision you make affects all the others. It sounds like a simple enough theory, but when it comes time to putting it into action, it’s often difficult to see through.

I see many clients who come in clearly stating their goals: they want to retire, they want to start their own business or pay for the children’s college education. They want to be financially independent. Yet, when we look at what they’re doing with their finances, we find that their actions may be working against their goals. That daily Starbucks habit has a different cost when you calculate how much you’ve spent in a given month that could have been used towards other expenses. For those who are constantly leasing new vehicles, those payments that never end take on a different perspective when you consider how they could have been applied to a down payment for a house.

We see it now with millennials struggling under immense student loan debt. While much of their income is funneled towards basic needs and paying down debt, little is left for necessary things like amassing an emergency fund and saving for retirement, let alone other milestones like purchasing a home. Putting off funding these other items can have a serious detrimental effect down the road. Furthermore, while millennials have grown to be the largest generations purchasing homes1, this major decision has prompted additional complications like borrowing from retirement to afford a down payment or underestimating ongoing maintenance cost. In fact, based on a survey by Bank of the West, 68 percent of millennial homeowners now have regrets about buying their home2 because every decision made truly impacted everything else.

Things can get especially tricky when decisions are being made by more than one person. Couples can have household goals, but if they’re not united in working towards them, these goals can often get sidelined. Perhaps they’re trying to save for a house, but one of them isn’t sticking to their plan. Maybe they’ve been diligently saving for retirement when one wants to take a major withdrawal to start their own business. Sometimes it can be as simple as not even bothering to discuss the household’s financial goals. Very often, if you’re not working together, you’re working against one another.

Please understand, I’m all for enjoying your hard-earned money. Sometimes, though, difficult choices have to be made. Perhaps it’s deciding to put off that trip with friends to pay off your credit card, or eating out less to build up your emergency fund. I remember being in that predicament when my family first moved into our home – we lived without furniture in two of the rooms! You see, the key to your personal financial success isn’t typically making more money. It’s really about being aware of your financial behavior and of how your daily financial decisions impact your long-term fiscal future.

1. https://www.housingwire.com/articles/42748-millennials-lead-all-other-generations-in-buying-homes

2. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/18/most-millennials-regret-buying-home.html

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