Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.
Be Honest
It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.
Be Frequent
Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.
Be Open to Feedback
You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.
Be Non-Judgmental
What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.
I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
Not all goals are equal in their achievability. In fact, 92% of people don’t reach the goals they set.1 While goals can be difficult to achieve, they’re not impossible. However, the best way to set yourself up for success is to set meaningful goals.
A meaningful goal sets itself apart from a standard goal in three main ways.
The more specific your goal, the more likely you are to reach it. According to one study, setting specific goals led to a higher performance 90% of the time.2 The reason for this is fairly simple: the clearer the path, the easier it is to follow it to the final destination.
I hear so many people tell me their goal is to save more, spend less, or build a retirement fund. The problem with these goals is that they lack specificity. Saving more could mean saving $10 per month or $1,000 per month. You can’t track your progress or know if you’re on track toward your goal if you haven’t specified it and you can’t measure your progress.
One of the first things I tell clients is to make their goals as specific as possible. For example, instead of “build a retirement fund,” you can specify it to “build a retirement fund of $100,000.” Finally, make it measurable—”build a retirement fund of $100,000 by age 45.”
A goal is only meaningful if you’re passionate about it. Those who meet their goals do so not just because they’re hard workers, but because they are passionate about what they want to achieve. Their goals reflect their values and interests, rather than being random or something they think they’re supposed to achieve in life.
For example, some clients tell me they want to build their savings account because they’ve been told that’s what they should do. While true, you likely won’t feel very inspired to save more if you don’t have a reason for it that makes sense for your life.
I tell these clients to think of what having a savings account would mean for them. Would they feel they could sleep better at night? Would a savings account mean they could go on an annual family vacation? If they build a savings account up to a certain amount, could they finally upgrade their unreliable and problematic car?
Whatever your goal, you should be passionate about it and it should be relevant to your life, not what you think you’re supposed to achieve.
We’ve all heard about the power of positive thinking, and it translates to your goals, too. We are much more likely to work toward something we want to achieve or do rather than what we want to stop doing or don’t want.
For example, rather than a goal of “stop overspending” or “spend $200 less each month,” frame it in a positive light: “spend more mindfully” or “save $200 each month.” This can help you view saving as a good thing you’re supposed to do, rather than spending as a treat that you no longer should do. It’s easy to reverse any goal, so there’s no excuse not to!
Don’t Go it Alone
The process of setting a goal is just as important as the process of working towards it. Think of your goal as the frame of a house. You can’t build a stable home without the proper foundation and a clear blueprint.
If you’re struggling to achieve your goals or aren’t sure how to set ones that are meaningful, an advisor can help. As an independent financial advisor, my mission is to make a meaningful impact on the lives of my clients and the people they love. I help families make informed decisions with their money and pursue a strong financial future, from setting meaningful goals to guiding them along the path toward the finish line.
Contact me for a no-strings-attached meeting to discuss your goals, how to make them meaningful, and what strategies can help you pursue them. Call my office at (949) 221-8105 x 2128, or email me at michael.loo@lpl.com.
