How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
October 8, 2018
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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

  1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
  2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
  3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

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By Trilogy Financial
March 8, 2023

Estate planning is an essential step to help protect the wealth that you've spent your life building. Meeting with an estate planner will help to create a comprehensive plan that will allow your assets to effectively pass to your assigned beneficiaries. Creating this initial plan can feel overwhelming, and we are here to help you prepare.

Here are five important questions you can expect to discuss with your estate advisor as you start to plan for your future.

How Would You Like Your Wealth to Pass to Your Heirs or Elsewhere?

The basis of your estate plan is where you want to direct your wealth and how you'd like that to happen. No matter how large or small your estate is, you'll need to decide how it should be distributed among children, grandchildren, other family members or favorite charity organizations. For example, this could mean leaving different parties a percentage of your total assets, or leaving one child your business and another child your vacation home.

It’s important to also think about whether you want your beneficiaries to receive their inheritance all at once or not. If you have a disabled child requiring lifelong care on your list, or someone who needs a little extra help managing their money, you may want a trust or annuity structure in place to pay out the inheritance in increments.

What Can Be Done to Prevent Costs and Conflicts for Your Heirs?

Costs for your beneficiaries are most likely to come up if your estate needs to go through probate, which is the process by which a court distributes your assets. In addition to financial costs, there are other reasons to avoid probate. Probate can be a long and exhausting process – meaning, your heirs will not be able to access your estate right away. If you have dependents who will rely on the money in your estate, this can be an especially serious concern. In addition, probate adds your estate information to the public record, which you may want to avoid. There are several strategies your financial advisor might recommend to avoid probate. These include placing assets in a trust and moving funds into joint accounts with your beneficiaries.

Conflict among heirs is another common concern, especially in families where conflict already exists. While the legal documents included in your estate should help minimize disagreements and make it more difficult for someone to contest your wishes, communication during your lifetime is important as well. Disagreements often surround specific items like jewelry or sentimental pieces rather than your financial assets. Labeling these items, writing a letter of instruction and starting to pass on these things during your lifetime can all help make your intentions clear.

How Can You Reduce Your Tax Burden?

After a lifetime of working to earn your money, you likely want to direct your wealth to your loved ones rather than the government. In 2023, only estates valued at $12.92 million (or $25.84 million for some married couples) or more may be subject to the federal estate tax. If, upon your death, the total value of your estate is less than the applicable exclusion amount, no federal estate taxes will be due.

Depending on the state you live in, your heirs or your estate might also be subject to state estate or inheritance taxes. If taxes are a concern for your estate, there are several ways to reduce your tax burden.

One simple option is to start passing money along during your lifetime. Based on the 2022 gift tax exemption limit, individuals can give up to $16,000 per recipient per year. This lets you give money directly to your children or grandchildren while reducing the value of your estate, which will reduce your tax bill. Other options include a marital trust, which allows one spouse to place assets in trust for the other spouse, and an irrevocable life insurance trust, which can pay for life insurance premiums with tax-deductible funds and then avoid estate taxes later on.

Are You Already Working with Financial Professionals?

If you're already working with an estate attorney, a financial planner or a tax professional, it's important for your estate planner to understand the strategies your existing financial team has recommended. You'll want to make sure that all of these members of your team are working together so you aren't paying for duplicated efforts or conflicting suggestions.

If you aren't already working with a financial team, your estate planner may recommend that you do so depending on the details of your estate plan. If you have complex tax concerns, you might need to talk to a tax expert. Depending on the type of trust that you wish to establish, you may need an estate attorney to set it up.

How Will Changes in Your Life Change Your Estate Plan?

Your estate plan should have the flexibility to adapt to changes in your lifestyle, family structure or life expectancy. Your initial plan will be based on your current circumstances, but you should consider potential future concerns and possible solutions.

Divorce and Remarriage

Divorce and remarriage are common life changes that can affect your estate plan. If you remarry, you may not want your new spouse to manage the inheritance of your children from the first marriage. This can create the need for a new trust to be established. In addition, if you have more children in later marriages, you will again need to update your estate plan.

Life Expectancy and Medical Issues

There are other lifestyle considerations that might change as well. For example, if based on your family history you expect to live into your 90s, you might not want to start giving away assets to avoid estate taxes. And if medical issues arise and your life expectancy changes, you will likely need to adjust your plan.

While you won't need to make any decisions based on hypotheticals, it's a good idea to discuss the possibilities.

How to Get Started?

Your estate plan is a key component of your Life Plan. To create an estate plan that addresses the above questions and any other concerns you may have, you'll need to start by finding the right estate advisor. Talk to the Trilogy Financial team to take control of your finances today while maximizing your future opportunities.

Download your free Estate Strategies eBook to learn how to protect your estate.

 

family happy after meeting with estate planner
family happy with estate planning and secure future

 

By
Keegan Tanghe, AIF®
November 7, 2017

Don’t we all just love the holidays? Having a nice, large Thanksgiving meal with close family and friends? Unwrapping presents during Christmas or Hanukkah, seeing the big smiles on the young kids and grandkids as they rip open that favorite toy they begged for? It may be pure bliss during the months of November and December, but come January and February, when those credit card statements come in, the stress starts to set in.

According to the article here,   the average person takes more than five months to pay off that holiday debt. Many more carry that into the next holiday season, hence carrying it indefinitely and having it snowball out of control. Many people just make the minimum payment on credit cards throughout the year, and then when the holidays come about, go crazy with buying up everything, their balance goes up, and so does that minimum payment, which they soon cannot afford to pay. Defaults on credit cards and people trying to do balance transfers or debt consolidation soon become the norm and the house of cards (literally) soon falls.

44% of people surveyed stated that they were stressed out because of that extra holiday debt. Among all age groups, Millennials were most likely to go into debt around the holidays. People ages 24-35 were most likely to say they went into debt this holiday season with a rate of 14.3%. With the exception of 45-54-year-olds, the likelihood of going into debt decreased with age. Seniors were least likely to say they went into debt, with a rate of 7.6%.

So how can we mitigate or eliminate this holiday debt altogether?

Start a holiday-saving account: Set aside a holiday or Christmas budget at the beginning of each year! The problem that many people run into is that they do not set a holiday season budget and just spend, spend, spend. We have many clients who save anywhere from $50-200/month starting in January, so that they have their full budget come the 4th quarter. Or, if you are out shopping throughout the year and see a great sale on something that a family member or close friend would like, feel free to buy it, to pace yourself. If it’s within the budget, you should be ok.

Change your tax withholdings: It’s also a proven fact that many people over-pay their taxes throughout the year, over-withholding on their paychecks. The average person pays their amount of taxes by the spring or summertime, and the rest of the year is just spent paying more to Uncle Sam, lining his pockets. We have had many clients who come through our office in the 3rd or 4th quarter, and after we look at their tax returns for the previous year, as long as everything is a constant, we ascertain that they have already paid all of their taxes for the year. They can then increase their withholdings on their paycheck, thus bringing in more income monthly, to allow them to pay for the holiday’s cash. Solution: no post-holiday blues. Then, come January, we would review the client’s situation again, many times working alongside their CPA, to help them get to more of a point of breaking even or getting just a small tax refund back at tax time. This would allow them to better plan out their budget for the year.

Can you change your schedule: Other things to consider to have a credit card-free holiday is to work overtime, if your job allows it, or if you get a bonus throughout the year, to set that aside for the holiday season. But don’t count on it, as you can’t always rely on bonuses, commissions, or pay raises to occur when you want them to.

If you are a people-person and don’t mind strangers in your car, consider driving for Lyft or Uber. I believe they offer tiered bonuses if you complete a certain amount of rides during your first 30 days of working and always have promotions going on. That’s an instant quick bonus for one or two months of work. Many retailers, as well as Amazon, hire hundreds or thousands of seasonal part-timers, to help with the holiday rush. Maybe you can even use that employee discount at that retail store you’d be working at to get a good deal on some presents. UPS and FedEx also hire extra drivers and warehouse employees to sort through all of those packages that are being delivered the last two months of the year.

Conclusion: Get creative and don’t get complacent. You can do this!

Action items:

Understand where your money actually went.

There are many great apps out there which can track your spending throughout the year, and help you stay up on things, so things don’t spiral out of control

Set a realistic budget of what you will spend on family, friends, co-workers, and even clients, if it merits it in your situation, so you don’t break the bank

Work with a trusted financial advisor/coach that can hold you accountable on your spending, so you can keep pace to reach your financial goals

Good luck and let us know your progress!  Enjoy the holidays and create some lifetime memories!

[1] http://www.magnifymoney.com/blog/featured/americans-holiday-debt-added-1003-average-year/

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