How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
October 8, 2018
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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

  1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
  2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
  3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
April 13, 2018

Many people accept that humility is a virtue, one that contributes to an individual’s success or legacy. Treating others respectfully and as equals is a courteous thing to do, as is recognizing everyone’s individual value and innate strengths. This is what I teach my children and the value that I integrate into how I run my business as well as my life.

This extends far beyond an altruistic ideal, though. Humility is not simply being self-depreciating or passive. In fact, it’s less about our relationship with other people and more reflective of the relationship we have with ourselves. Humility is about being fully aware of your humanity and your interdependence with others. It allows us to be self-aware and recognize where we may have gaps in our knowledge or in our control. This is a proven value that can have concrete and positive ramifications in our everyday life, specifically in our investments. Trust me, it’s not that big of a leap.

  1. Humility is understanding that I do not know everything. This means that I can make mistakes. It also reinforces that there are others who may have more knowledge or a different perspective that may provide value to the decisions I make. Whether you’re talking about a doctor, a lawyer, a tax accountant or in my case, a financial planner, there are folks who have the knowledge and passion to help you.
  2. Humility is understanding that I do not control everything. This means that things will happen that I have no power over, that I could not predict, and that may cause a few bumps in the road. In those moments, it’s good to refrain from acting impulsively or emotionally. Preparation and flexibility are also key. It’s best to plan for emergencies, fluctuations in the market, and other surprising events to understand what to expect, stay focused on the bigger picture and be prepared for not necessarily doing things “as usual”.

Once we accept these points, we can recognize where we may need assistance and be open to advice from expert counsel. When we do that, we do it for our own personal benefit, arming ourselves with the resources for monetary and overall success. Michael McGrath sums it up nicely in his article, “Humility in Investing: Why It’s Important”,

“Overconfidence tells you that it must be the other thing that was wrong—I see it all the time in my work. But humility allows you to say, “I’m not perfect, was there something that I might have been able to do better?”1

The Advisors at Trilogy Financial are here to be your resource on the road to doing things better. Our accomplishments are measured by your success and ability to achieve your financial freedom.

1 http://moneyinc.com/humility-investing-important/

By
Rebecca DeSoto, CDFA®
May 23, 2018

Technology provides ample flexibility when it comes to making purchasing decisions these days. You are no longer required to go somewhere, talk to anyone, or spend a great deal of time comparing options. The internet is a convenient place that is accessible wherever you are, doesn’t require you to talk through your purchase with a sales representative, and allows you to spend as much or as little time researching your decision as you’d like. This can make life more efficient and simpler, but when it comes to important decisions like purchasing life insurance, you run the risk of simplifying the decision too much, not fully understanding what you’re purchasing, and purchasing a policy that may not provide the most flexibility and options later in life when you need it most.

There is no shortage of information available about life insurance on the internet. A lot of it has negative connotations. From policies that historically haven’t provided what was promised, to salespeople coaxing consumers into products, and one size fits all advice. Most people come in with the base knowledge that they need term insurance if they have a spouse and children they want to protect financially if they pass away. Combine these two factors and people generally use the internet to find an inexpensive policy. However, when making a decision about life insurance there are a few important factors to consider besides simply the cost and the amount of insurance, namely living benefits or accelerated benefit riders, and whether the policy has a cash-value component.

While all policies are required to have a terminal illness rider, meaning the insured has the option of utilizing the death benefit prior to passing away if diagnosed with a terminal illness, not all policies come with a chronic or critical rider. A chronic illness rider can accelerate your death benefit if the insured is diagnosed with an illness and unable to perform two of the six daily activities of living (bathing, continence, dressing, eating, toileting, and transferring). Considering how expensive long-term care insurance can be these days, having a chronic illness rider on a life insurance policy can provide some level of affordable protection (depending on your age when you get the policy). The critical rider can apply to injuries or illness and can include things like heart attack, stroke, paralysis, severe brain trauma, and diagnosis of invasive cancer. Having these riders in addition to one that protects against terminal illness adds a much more encompassing level of protection to the insured that can provide flexibility and options in an unplanned emergency.

Life insurance can also have a cash-value component or investment vehicle in addition to providing protection. Cash-value in a permanent life insurance vehicle is one of the only ways to build non-taxable income in retirement besides a Roth IRA. Other than the tax benefits, it can also enhance your plan with diversification and stability. It generally has some level of protection, called a “floor” that assets invested in the stock market wouldn’t have, meaning there is protection against the downside while allowing the investor to take advantage of positive markets.

Whether or not you choose a policy that has all of these components, it is important to consider which benefits are meaningful to you and are worth paying for. It can be hard to determine the pros and cons without talking to a licensed professional that has your best interest in mind and it can be difficult to really understand what you’re purchasing just by browsing the internet for the least expensive policy. Just like any insurance, the ideal situation is not needing it. But if you do, you’ll be happy you did your research and understand the vehicle you chose.

This material contains only general descriptions and is not a solicitation to sell any insurance product or security, nor is it intended as any financial or tax advice. This article is intended to assist in educating you about insurance generally and not to provide personal service. Guarantees are based on the claims-paying ability of the issuing company. If you need more information or would like personal advice you should consult an insurance professional. Riders are additional guarantee options that are available to an annuity or life insurance contract holder. While some riders are part of an existing contract, many others may carry additional fees, charges, and restrictions, and the policyholder should review their contract carefully before purchasing.

If you decide to downsize after retirement and have lived in your home for at least two years out of the last five from the date of sale, you can exclude up to $250,000 in capital gains from the proceeds and almost double that if you are married.

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