How Not to Let Your Family Squeeze

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
October 8, 2018
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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

  1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
  2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
  3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
October 15, 2018

Often, my clients ask me, “How will I know if I’m ready to retire?” It sounds like a simple question, but the answer is anything but. There are so many factors to consider, questions to answer, scenarios to prepare for, that it can all seem very overwhelming. To make things manageable, though, let’s start off with a dream.

We know that retirement can be expensive. In fact, according to a survey conducted by the Wall Street Journal, participants would need 130% of their salary in retirement to live their ideal retirement life.1 You see, most of us spend money during our free time, and as one of my advisors says, retirement is basically six Saturday’s and a Sunday. If your retirement is filled with lazy days reading in your backyard, your expenses will probably be limited. However, if you plan on traveling, tackling home improvement projects or long-ignored hobbies, all of these come with additional expenses. Additionally, things you may have been able to earn in relation to your job, such as airfare and hotel points for frequent travelers, are no longer as easily accessible once you turn off your wage-earner card.

Therefore, the first step on your checklist is to visualize your retirement. If you’re not sure where to start, simply look at what you do in your current free time and determine if that’s something you would like to do more of when you retire. Not only does this help in your financial planning, but it helps you determine what you want the next chapter of your life to be. It is unfortunately common for retirees to experience depression related to a lack of purpose or identity when they enter retirement with an undeveloped vision of their next chapter. Therefore, the more details you can determine, the better the planning process will go.

For people who are married, things become a bit more multi-faceted to plan. You’re not only figuring out how to occupy your free time, but your spouse is also doing the same, and the two of you need to figure out how you plan to spend your shared time together. Without this planned out, you end up with a lot of togetherness, which can be quite an adjustment to most couples. Not only can differences in your retirement vision impact your relationship, but it can also impact your finances. Take advantage of monthly financial date nights well before retirement begins and solidify your retirement vision.

Perhaps you’ve finalized that retirement vision and discovered you won’t have a lot of expenses. You will most likely have those expenses for a long time though. People live much longer now, on average into their mid-eighties.2 It would be great to assume that those years will be spent in good health, but the likelihood is that your medical expenses will go up. According to the Fidelity Retiree Health Care Cost Estimate, the average couple will need about $280,000 for medical expenses in retirement.3 Even if you stay away from long-term care needs or expensive treatments, annual premiums and out of pocket costs like doctor visits and medications typically cost about $5,000 annually.4 There may be certain elements you may not be able to foresee, but you should still try to plan for as much as possible.

Once you’ve determined what your vision for retirement is, you need to determine how much you’ll need to live that lifestyle. You need to be sure that the income you’ll be receiving will fund that vision. Just to be sure, once that number is determined, try living on that budget for about six months. If you find out that you’re struggling, some adjustments will need to be made, whether that’s working longer or altering the retirement vision. Practicing your retirement lifestyle isn’t merely relegated to your budget. If you typically work 50 to 60 hours a week, start cutting back. Maybe take on fewer projects. Prepare as much as you can for this life adjustment. You’ve worked really hard to get to retirement. Be sure to put in the extra work to make it the retirement of your dreams. Retirement is a massive decision. I urge you not to take it lightly. There is a reason that the five years before and after retirement are considered dangerous. Certain things like pensions, pay-outs and in some cases, social security can’t be undone. The best way to make an informed decision on what’s best for you is to meet with an Advisor who can run the scenarios for you. If you choose to push retirement off, your investments can continue to grow. In the end, you will be putting the proper steps in place to make your retirement dream a reality.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

  1. https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-much-money-will-you-really-spend-in-retirement-probably-a-lot-more-than-you-think-1536026820
  2. https://www.fidelity.com/viewpoints/personal-finance/plan-for-rising-health-care-costs
By
Steve Hartel, MBA, AIF®
April 24, 2018

Congratulations. You’ve decided to work with a financial professional to help improve your financial situation. How do you find a good one? Unfortunately, that’s harder than it sounds. There is a huge barrier between people seeking good financial advice and professionals offering it. Advisors can be found in the yellow pages (Millennials, you might have to Google that), on various online sites, by answering incoming phone calls, by asking your friends and neighbors, or any number of other ways. Personally, I believe a referral or introduction from an existing client is the best way, but that could be another entire article. Here are some suggested questions you should ask a prospective advisor.

  1. Start by asking yourself what kind of help you think you want and/or need

Are you just seeking help with your investments? How about someone who will be the “quarterback” of your entire team of professionals (tax preparer, estate attorney, bookkeeper, banker, investment manager, etc.)? Are you looking for someone who simply suggests things for you to go do by yourself (what I call the “travel agent” model), or someone who will give you advice and then help you carry it out (what I call the “Sherpa” model)?

The answers to these questions will determine what kind of professional to seek out. I know some of you are thinking, “Wait—aren’t they all the same?” Trust me; the answer is an emphatic “NO”! One of the best ways to determine what type of professional someone is, is by asking about their credentials.

  1. What are your credentials and what do they mean?

Anyone can call themselves a financial advisor. A stockbroker, a life insurance agent, a mutual fund sales rep, an annuity salesperson, a banker, a mortgage broker. Seriously, there are no rules for the title Financial Advisor. The title Financial Planner, on the other hand, has very definitive rules. There are only two kinds of people who can legally call themselves a planner. One group took classes, passed some exams given by an industry group, and received the Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) designation. The other group took classes, passed some exams by a governmental group, and received their Series 65 or Series 66 registration. These folks are called Registered Financial Planners, although that moniker hasn’t caught on yet the same way the CFP® has. Both of these groups can legally charge you a fee for giving you advice.

You might also encounter professionals who received a Series 6 registration (this allows them to sell you a mutual fund) and/or their Series 7 registration (commonly called the stockbroker license). You will also encounter people who have some combination of these.

Someone who only has a CFP® can give you advice but can’t help you execute it. These are the “travel agents” I referred to. This might be a good choice if you want to pay for advice but then go do everything yourself. Another example might be people who hire a personal trainer at the gym one time to teach them the right exercises to do; then they go do them by themselves.

Someone who only has a Series 6 or 7 registration can sell you products for a commission, but they can’t give you any advice. Let’s call them “luggage salespeople.” This might be good for people who don’t want professional advice, make their own decisions, and simply need to buy financial products in a transactional relationship with a salesperson.

Someone who has their Series 65/66, or has their Series 6/7 and 65/66, or who has their CFP® and Series 6/7 and/or 65/66 can perform the “Sherpa” function of going on the journey with you and helping you implement the advice. These are good choices for someone who recognizes the value of professional advice and knows they need a little extra help with actually getting things done (or want that extra accountability). Think people who hire a personal trainer at the gym and see them week after week. In my experience, clients of these professionals make the most consistent progress toward their long-term goals.

  1. How will I be charged? How do you get compensated?

Sometimes those are the same question and sometimes not. Does the professional make a commission when you buy a product? If so, how much is it? Do they charge an hourly fee, a monthly fee, or a one-time flat fee? Is the professional paid a fee based on the size of your invested assets? What is that fee?

If you are buying products, are there any fees built into the products themselves? How much? Are the fees for the product clearly spelled out or are they buried internally?

Will ALL of your fees be clearly itemized on your statements? Ask to see an example.

  1. What services do you provide?

This should line up with your answers to Question #1. Don’t make any assumptions here. Make sure the service you are seeking is actually provided by the professional you are interviewing. The professional might want to sound like they can do everything for you. For example, a stockbroker can open an IRA for you, but that’s not the same thing as doing retirement planning for you. Be clear.

  1. Are you a Fiduciary?

Due to a recent regulatory change, this is the new industry buzzword. There are multiple standards of care in the financial services industry. One is the “suitability” standard. Professionals who do not give advice are held to this standard. They need to show that the product is appropriate for someone in your situation, but they don’t have to disclose their compensation or prove that the product they recommended is actually in your best interest. If there were two products that both accomplished the same thing, but one resulted in the professional receiving higher compensation, the professional doesn’t have to tell you that.

The other standard is the “best interest” standard. People held to this standard are fiduciaries. They must always act in the client’s best interest. If they sell you a product, they must demonstrate that it is in your best interest rather than their own.

Conclusion

I’m a Sherpa, so I naturally believe that’s a better choice for most people seeking professional help with their finances. My fees are very clear and, they appear right on the statement or contract signed by the client. I think hidden fees should be avoided at almost any cost. My clients hire me on an annual basis to be their DecisionCoach. I give them advice, I help them make better financial decisions over time, and I help them implement the advice. Depending on the client, I might be helping with organization, cash flow, investment management, budgeting, retirement planning, college planning, income planning, tax mitigation, asset protection, insurance, advanced medical expense planning, estate planning, and much more. Are you looking for a professional like me?

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