Grateful

Role models have a very powerful function. They shape values and behaviors in all facets of life, including our relationship with our finances. Knowing the influence they have, it’s obviously important to select the right financial role model. However, many are selected with very little consideration, if any at all. When it comes to something as important as your financial independence, you need to be confident that you’re following the right example to ensure that you and your money work together for your greater good.

There are those who are fortunate to have great people in their lives to provide an example of what to value and how to live. If this good example extends to finances, you are very fortunate indeed. However, good behavior or strong values doesn’t always guarantee a good financial role model. A generous nature doesn’t guarantee a good budgeter. Support in your youth doesn’t mean they planned well for their future. When selecting a financial role model, you need to make sure you’re selecting them based on sound financial behaviors and a relationship to their financial independence that you would like to emulate.

Oftentimes, though, many haven’t realized they have already unconsciously selected a financial role model. They may assume that they are simply reacting to circumstances happening to them. However, their response may be a direct duplication of mom’s ardent saving, dad’s faith in the stock market, or Aunt Flo’s blatant disregard for a budget. When we really stop and study our financial patterns, we realize that we have adopted many financial behaviors that may or may not be aiding us in our path to financial freedom. Without any scrutiny of these behaviors, we may be in for a rude and unfortunate awakening in the future.

Rather than unconsciously mimicking behaviors, we should be consciously selecting a financial role model. As with all decisions, be aware of whose lead you are following and what you want that to mean for your finances. Selecting the right example of financial behavior will pave the way to our goals. Don’t forget that your money and your road to financial freedom is under your control – choose wisely.

Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.