Don’t Let Your Heartstrings Control Your Purse Strings

Retirement is a big deal, and there are a lot of moving components to plan out. Those issues multiply when there is another individual added to the mix. My definition of retirement is the financial freedom to move into the next chapter of your life, and that next chapter is different for everyone –especially spouses! This is not the time to assume the two of you are on the same page or decide that the two of you will figure it out later. Most people know that I’m a big proponent of talking to your spouse about everything financial, and retirement is no exception.  Be sure to take the guess work out of this process so you can enter the next chapter of your life in harmony.

It’s not uncommon for couples to not see eye-to-eye on retirement. About half of couples don’t agree on what age to retire[i]. Less than 10% of surveyed couples retired at the same time[ii]. And 47% disagreed on how much they would need to save for retirement[iii]. With so many areas to disagree, from where to retire to how to spend your days, how do spouses work together to achieve their cumulative goals?

I always like to recommend the couples start off by taking my financial compatibility quiz. Not only does this show the areas you may not see eye-toe-eye on, but the quiz generates a lot of conversations. Continue these conversations at monthly financial date nights to make sure that the two of you continue on the same path towards the same goals. Talk about the details – at what age do you want to retire, how do you want to spend your days in retirement, and how much of that time will be spent together. Keep in mind that most people have spent over 40 hours a week away from their spouse for decades. Retirement frees up all that time, which can be too much “togetherness” for some couples. This is why I like to take my clients through a discussion on “your time, my time, and our time,” well before it is actually time for retirement. Discussing these things in advance can allow you to compromise on issues before emotions flair and make a world of difference between living together happily in retirement or, in worst cases, filing for divorce.

Once you have an idea of what your retirement goals are, you need to formulate a plan. An experienced financial planner can be a great resource at this time, bringing up things you may not have touched on and running “what if” scenarios for you to see how your retirement dreams can be converted into actionable goals. Please start these discussions early because financial independence takes many forms, but you can’t figure out when you’re going to get there until you plan your route.

Marriage is many things, but ultimately, it is a partnership. The two of you work together to move the household forward. You may not always agree, but you find common ground by talking and sharing and compromising. If you plan ahead and plan together, you can find the right way to your coupled vision of retirement.

Take our FREE Financial Compatibility Quiz here.

[i] https://www.fidelity.com/bin-public/060_www_fidelity_com/documents/couples-retirement-fact-sheet.pdf

[ii] https://assets.aarp.org/rgcenter/general/retired_spouses.pdf

[iii] https://www.fidelity.com/bin-public/060_www_fidelity_com/documents/couples-retirement-fact-sheet.pdf

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

Words are power, and each word has its own weight and energy. Words have inspired people to stand up for what they believe in or hang their head down in defeat. Therefore, choosing the right words to describe that which you want to manifest is very important.

For example, when speaking of aspirations for the future, there are those who use the words dreams and goals interchangeably. However, they ae distinctively different in definition and performance. A dream is boundless, fueled by your passion and imagination. However, it is akin to fantasy, with no immediate call to bring it to life. When someone tells me they dream of owning a sports car or starting their own business, I know most of the work to make that dream a reality hasn’t taken place and probably won’t for the foreseeable future.

A goal, on the other hand, is the mapwork to that dream, concrete and behavior-driven. When you have a goal, you have markers, measurements and steps to get to the destination. Setting the right goals, especially when it pertains to financial goals, can have a significant effect on how and when you achieve them. In fact, a guide to good goal-setting has long been to make it S.M.A.R.T.1:

Specific: if we are truly making a map towards our goals, telling ourselves to go in a general direction or for an undefined distance is most likely only going to get us lost. Steps towards our dreams have to be detailed and specific.

Measurable: When a goal is measurable, there is a way to track your progress to stay motivated or identify issues that may need problem-solving.

Attainable: It is admirable to be striving for something grand and lofty. However, it’s imperative that we have feasible goals that we can accomplish to keep us motivated and actually accomplish said goal.

Relevant: Having impressive goals are fine and dandy, but if they don’t move you closer to your overall goals or work against other goals you may have, it may be time to rethink them.

Time Bound: Once something has been stated as a goal, the stop watch has started. There is an expectation of completion, which is necessary to keep us moving forward towards that goal. It may not get completed in the expected timeframe, but just by having a deadline, we can stay accountable.

Based on this description of a S.M.A.R.T., you can see that there is a difference between, “I’m going to start saving money for a house,” and “I’m going to put 15% of my paycheck into a savings account specifically designated for my eventual down payment, and I should have enough saved after 3 years.” One expresses a desire while the other one lays out a concrete plan to achieve the goal.

If one seems to be fueling the other, how can a dream inhibit a goal? Well, one way is when your lifestyle fits with your dream rather than your goals. To achieve many financial goals like saving for retirement or buying a home, one needs to save and stick to a budget. However, if you fail to save and incrementally work towards the goals, it will take longer and longer to see results. Worse is if you choose to skip the incremental steps and live your dreamer’s lifestyle by using credit cards. The debt you accumulate will take you farther and farther from your goals and possible put you in an unfortunate and stressful predicament.

Sometimes when we haven’t developed a goal for a dream, it’s vagueness can work against an already established goal. Perhaps a good friend asks you to go into business with them. If you choose to pour funds into this new endeavor without any parameters, you may find yourself taking funds away from saving for retirement or depleting savings you already had. Of course, if you had outlined your goal on how to contribute to your friend’s business, with specific and timely parameters, the situation could be completely different.

Please understand that I’m not asking you to stop dreaming. In fact, quite the opposite. I happen wake up every day saying, “Dream Big! Work Hard! Laugh often!” I sign letters and thank you notes and end employee meetings with those very words. Dreaming is important.

So please know I want you to dream big and bold. At the same time, I want you to buckle down and create some S.M.A.R.T. goals to propel you closer to your dreams.

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.