4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
November 26, 2018
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Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
January 7, 2019

When we look outwards, most of our world can seem like chaos. Political events impact the market. Technological changes create new employment opportunities and put others to rest. Illness and misfortune affect those we love. It is easy to fall under a sense of helplessness in these moments. The key to weathering these storms is to focus on the elements you can control to make for a better financial future.

The first step is to create a solid plan. Many hope for a good outcome, but hope is not a strategy for a sound future, financial or otherwise. Your plan should reflect personal and financial goals. If you have created a personal mission statement, the goals in your plan should be inspired by that. The key aspect to a plan is that it identifies possible issues and gives you concrete steps to take to weather any storms.

Part of your plan should always include paying yourself first. There are going to be numerous obligations and goals to funnel your finances towards. Be sure that saving for your financial independence is one of them because there aren’t any do-overs when it comes to retirement savings. Just as important as saving is how you save. Make sure to fill your three buckets for more financial flexibility when you retire. The more options you have, the more control you have over your financial future.

After all that work, make sure to protect your plan. Life insurance will cover your debt and obligations, should you pass. Other forms of insurance can also provide during retirement or should you become disabled. Preparing for unfortunate or far-off events is a difficult thing for many to do, but a little planning in this area can protect everything you’ve worked so hard for, for your loved ones and your legacy.

None of us can see the future or know what tomorrow will bring. With a little forethought and planning, though, you can make sure you’re prepared for whatever life throws your way. Be sure to focus on what you can control and those strategies will help you build a better financial future.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

By
Rebecca DeSoto, CDFA®
May 23, 2018

Technology provides ample flexibility when it comes to making purchasing decisions these days. You are no longer required to go somewhere, talk to anyone, or spend a great deal of time comparing options. The internet is a convenient place that is accessible wherever you are, doesn’t require you to talk through your purchase with a sales representative, and allows you to spend as much or as little time researching your decision as you’d like. This can make life more efficient and simpler, but when it comes to important decisions like purchasing life insurance, you run the risk of simplifying the decision too much, not fully understanding what you’re purchasing, and purchasing a policy that may not provide the most flexibility and options later in life when you need it most.

There is no shortage of information available about life insurance on the internet. A lot of it has negative connotations. From policies that historically haven’t provided what was promised, to salespeople coaxing consumers into products, and one size fits all advice. Most people come in with the base knowledge that they need term insurance if they have a spouse and children they want to protect financially if they pass away. Combine these two factors and people generally use the internet to find an inexpensive policy. However, when making a decision about life insurance there are a few important factors to consider besides simply the cost and the amount of insurance, namely living benefits or accelerated benefit riders, and whether the policy has a cash-value component.

While all policies are required to have a terminal illness rider, meaning the insured has the option of utilizing the death benefit prior to passing away if diagnosed with a terminal illness, not all policies come with a chronic or critical rider. A chronic illness rider can accelerate your death benefit if the insured is diagnosed with an illness and unable to perform two of the six daily activities of living (bathing, continence, dressing, eating, toileting, and transferring). Considering how expensive long-term care insurance can be these days, having a chronic illness rider on a life insurance policy can provide some level of affordable protection (depending on your age when you get the policy). The critical rider can apply to injuries or illness and can include things like heart attack, stroke, paralysis, severe brain trauma, and diagnosis of invasive cancer. Having these riders in addition to one that protects against terminal illness adds a much more encompassing level of protection to the insured that can provide flexibility and options in an unplanned emergency.

Life insurance can also have a cash-value component or investment vehicle in addition to providing protection. Cash-value in a permanent life insurance vehicle is one of the only ways to build non-taxable income in retirement besides a Roth IRA. Other than the tax benefits, it can also enhance your plan with diversification and stability. It generally has some level of protection, called a “floor” that assets invested in the stock market wouldn’t have, meaning there is protection against the downside while allowing the investor to take advantage of positive markets.

Whether or not you choose a policy that has all of these components, it is important to consider which benefits are meaningful to you and are worth paying for. It can be hard to determine the pros and cons without talking to a licensed professional that has your best interest in mind and it can be difficult to really understand what you’re purchasing just by browsing the internet for the least expensive policy. Just like any insurance, the ideal situation is not needing it. But if you do, you’ll be happy you did your research and understand the vehicle you chose.

This material contains only general descriptions and is not a solicitation to sell any insurance product or security, nor is it intended as any financial or tax advice. This article is intended to assist in educating you about insurance generally and not to provide personal service. Guarantees are based on the claims-paying ability of the issuing company. If you need more information or would like personal advice you should consult an insurance professional. Riders are additional guarantee options that are available to an annuity or life insurance contract holder. While some riders are part of an existing contract, many others may carry additional fees, charges, and restrictions, and the policyholder should review their contract carefully before purchasing.

If you decide to downsize after retirement and have lived in your home for at least two years out of the last five from the date of sale, you can exclude up to $250,000 in capital gains from the proceeds and almost double that if you are married.

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