4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
November 26, 2018
Share on:

Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

You may also like:

By
Zach Swaffer, CFP®
February 27, 2020

One of the most common questions I receive is how to most efficiently save for education expenses. And I understand why – it’s a daunting prospect! The cost of college continues to rise, and student loan debt can plague you for decades following graduation. There is also a growing realization that college is not for everybody. How do you prepare for an expense that might not actually occur? However, it doesn’t have to be such an intimidating process. In fact, there are several effective strategies you can deploy to efficiently – and effectively – save for your child’s education expenses.

First, you need to determine how much you’ll need to save. Do you plan to cover the whole cost of school or just a portion (for instance: undergrad only, or will you cover grad school expenses for your child(ren)? Once you’ve set a number, your financial planner can assist in calculating a monthly savings rate required to work toward that goal.

The next step is deciding what type of savings account(s) to use. There are different accounts that are specifically designed to save for college, for example: 529 plans and Coverdell Education Savings Accounts. Below are some of the reasons why a 529 Plan and/or investment accounts may be a better solution.

A 529 plan allows you to contribute to an account on behalf of a named beneficiary (in this case, your child). Because the government wants to reward saving for educational expenses, contributions to 529 plans receive preferential tax treatment and are able to grow tax-deferred. You can use the money in the account to pay for qualified educational expenses, tax-free. Contributions to these accounts are also typically deductible on state tax returns. The drawback to a 529 is that the money must be used for qualified education expenses – or you will face tax penalties.

An individual/joint investment account is an account owned by yourself or jointly by you and your significant other. Money invested in this type of account does not receive preferential tax treatment; however, your money can be withdrawn for any reason without tax penalties.

Given the shifting trends in higher education, it is my belief that a combination of 529 plan contributions and individual/joint account contributions will help to save for college education. This form of education planning allows for flexibility; for instance, if your child(ren) decide(s) against traditional higher education, you won’t have to pay tax penalties on all of your education savings, as a portion of that savings is held in an individual/joint account with no restriction on how the assets are used.

While education planning is important it is only one component of a full financial plan. If you would like to talk more about education planning and its impact on your personal financial plan please contact me at zach.swaffer@trilogyfs.com

 

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. To determine what is appropriate for you, consult a qualified professional.

By
Mike Loo, MBA
October 11, 2018

How much time have you spent thinking about your future death? If you’re like most people, probably not much. Thinking about your death or that of a loved one can bring up plenty of unpleasant emotions, but having a plan to take care of the details can ease some of the stress in a time of grieving. So if you’ve lost someone close to you or just want to create a plan for the future, follow this checklist to help you deal with the financial side of an unexpected death.

Organize Documents

In the aftermath of a loved one’s passing, his or her will is not the only document you will need. In order to do things like request benefits or change the name on car titles, you will also need copies of the following:

Birth certificate

Death certificate

Marriage certificate

Social Security card

Automobile titles

Property Deeds

Insurance policies

Bank, investments, and retirement account statements

If you want to plan ahead, ask yourself: Do you have an organized filing system, or are all your important documents strewn about in different places? As you organize your family’s documents, make sure the appropriate people have access to the information they will need in the event of an unexpected death.

Notify The Appropriate Contacts

There are a few people you will need to contact who will be able to help you through the process of taking care of the deceased’s finances. As soon as you are able, reach out to their financial advisor, insurance agent, attorney, and accountant. These professionals are trained to know how to handle an unexpected death, and they will be able to direct you to the right sources of information and help you make the best decisions possible.

Take Care Of Immediate Financial Needs

When someone close to you dies, there are many time-sensitive tasks that need to be taken care of. These tasks often have a financial element involved. For example, when making funeral arrangements and covering burial expenses, be sure to review life insurance policies and look for any pre-arrangement details or last wishes the deceased may have left. Some expenses may be covered, which will save you a financial headache. Speak to the deceased’s financial advisor to see if there are any easily accessible funds set aside for bills or debt payments that cannot be deferred.

Review Benefits

Surviving family members may be entitled to certain benefits, such as Social Security benefits and perhaps pension benefits, life insurance, and annuities. Contact the human resources department of the deceased’s employer, who can explain and document the following benefits that may be available to you, including:

Life insurance

Healthcare, or extended healthcare coverage through COBRA

Compensation due, such as stick options or unused vacation pay

401(k) or pension

Depending on your relationship to the deceased, you may need to apply for Social Security survivor benefits, update insurance beneficiaries, and apply for settlement.

Manage Their Estate

Finances can get messy when someone dies. Our financial lives can be complicated, so use this list as a starting point for closing accounts, updating information, and taking care of the countless details. Look into whether the deceased had any of the following accounts and contact the institution:

Checking Account

Savings Account

Brokerage Account

IRA

401(k)

403(b)

Health Savings Account

Flexible Spending Account

College Funds

Don’t forget about debts. Debts don’t disappear when someone passes away. Investigate the following and make sure those who are now responsible for these debts are aware of the creditor’s name, outstanding balance, name on the debt, loan terms, and the amount, timing, and method of payments.

Mortgage

Home Equity Line of Credit

Automobile Loans

Personal Loans

Student Loans

Credit Cards

Make sure you don’t forget about recurring household expenses, such as utilities, and how and when to pay them: .

Property Taxes

Electricity

Sewer

Water

Natural Gas

Garbage

Telephone

Cable TV

Internet Service

Landscaping

House Cleaning

Homeowners Association Dues

Other organization membership dues

Work With A Trusted Advisor

Handling the details after the death of a loved one can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. Financial professionals are experienced with these situations and can guide you through the steps that apply to your unique circumstances. They will not only help you take care of pressing problems and concerns, but can also help you feel more secure in a time of financial change. A financial advisor can make sure your affairs are in order, update your financial plan, and implement appropriate strategies to help you stay on track financially.

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today