4 Ways to Take the Taboo Out of Talking About Money with Your Spouse

By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
November 26, 2018
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Money is a commonly held taboo topic, like politics and religion. We just don’t feel comfortable talking about them – especially to people we care about. That’s because these topics are tied closely to how we view ourselves. These topics also garner a lot of judgment, and the last thing we want is to be judged on something that we feel is intrinsically linked to our intelligence or sense of maturity. Yet, by practicing a few simple tips, we can start tackling the taboo topic of family finances and get on that path to financial independence.

Be Honest

It is human nature to want to hide things we may not be proud of or want to avoid. Perhaps you charged a bit too much to your credit cards or haven’t saved as much as you planned for all of your family’s goals. You may want to avoid addressing such issues, but those who are part of your financial household need to know the honest, unvarnished state of your finances. Trying to hide the facts will just compound your issues when they come to light – and they will.

Be Frequent

Don’t just talk about money when money is a problem. That’s when stress levels are high and emotions are frayed. What needs to be a level-headed discussion can quickly escalate into an emotional shouting match. Instead, conversations about finances should become routine. If you schedule a monthly financial date night with your spouse, the frequent exposure will minimize the surprise and anxiety from these talks. Ultimately, there will be fewer surprises and more planning to help when unexpected or hard decisions need to be made.

Be Open to Feedback

You and your spouse are a team. Teams succeed by working together towards the same goals. Teammates, though, don’t always see things the same way and may have different approaches to the same objective. That’s why it’s important to get your spouse’s input on how your finances are being managed. Not only does your spouse’s input ensure you’re working towards the same goals, but different perspectives can also provide multiple solutions to financial issues. Most importantly, your spouse feels heard and validated, which is a precious thing to give to the one you love.

Be Non-Judgmental

What causes many to shy away from discussing finances is the idea that they will be judged for things they did or did not do with their money. Did you mismanage your funds and refrain from saving sufficiently? Were you too risky with your investments or not risky enough to provide for the household? To avoid the judgment, most will just avoid talking about their finances all together, which doesn’t often have good outcomes. Avoidance doesn’t help financial situations – it often just prolongs the mess. To help your spouse open up, it is beneficial to allow them to speak openly and freely and to listen without judgment.

I do believe that it is imperative to take the taboo out of talking about money with your spouse. Both of you should foster frequent and honest financial discussions, free of strife and judgment. Doing these things will allow you to solidify yourselves as a strong financial team and set you on your path for collective financial independence.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
May 22, 2018

“I have no interest in learning about finances. My [husband/wife] takes care of that.”

I have heard this statement from many clients throughout my career, and I understand the sentiment that prompts this response. Human nature has shown that when groups of people come together, they divvy up tasks to different individuals based on their strengths or roles in the group. You see this in many different groups, including families. My wife cooks dinner, and I’m great at taking out the garbage. With my siblings, I’m great at being the peacemaker while my sister knows how to shine a light on different perspectives. These established roles help our family units function smoothly and effectively…

Until one of the pieces of our unit is no longer around.

I’ve seen it far too many times. Clients come in distraught and overwhelmed because they’ve lost a loved one who typically acted as the family’s Chief Financial Officer. Sometimes they don’t know if there is a will or where legal documents are saved. Perhaps they are aware of a family safety deposit box, but they’re not sure where it is or how to access it. They aren’t sure about account balances or how to read statements. They may not even have access to critical accounts because the deceased was the one who knew the passwords. Now they are dealing with grief and heartbreak, compounded by confusion as to what the next steps are for maintaining their family’s financial solvency.

This is why I insist that both parties in a marriage are involved in financial planning meetings and decisions. I also recommend, especially for my senior clients, that other family members or loved ones are aware of the basics of their financial plans. It makes things so much simpler if all important documents, including a list of passwords, are stored together. If security is a concern, there are plenty of third party vendors that will virtually store that information for you. In most cases, though, a virtual safekeeper of your important information isn’t ideal. What is really needed is someone who will help guide your loved ones during that difficult time. That’s when a financial advisor can be an invaluable asset. I have had many Trilogy clients express how relieved they are to know that their financial advisor will be around to guide and assist the loved ones after he or she has passed. At Trilogy Financial, we don’t consider it a job. We consider it an honor and a calling.

There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. The truth is, it takes a village to care for anyone. Please make sure that your village is prepared and has the proper tools to take care of you. If you’re not sure where to begin, you may want to meet with a financial advisor. Our Trilogy Advisors are not only trained to assist your family on how to prepare for the future, but will also be there to provide support and service during a difficult and overwhelming time.

By
Diane Zing, CSA
June 11, 2018

Paying taxes is inevitable. The key to being as efficient as possible about how much one pays in taxes requires careful consideration of the big picture. And while many people simply want to know if they can have a tax-free retirement, it really starts with being clear about how and when taxes get paid…and to defining what a “tax-free retirement” actually means. For example, if someone is striving to have income during retirement that is tax-free AT THAT TIME, then there are a plethora of investment and insurance products out there that could help defer taxes on earnings, and potentially, have tax-free withdrawal benefits for some types of accounts. But that doesn’t mean retirement is “tax-free”.

Let’s clarify what a few of the most common types of taxes are:

Income Tax – taxation on earned income can occur on many levels; local, state and federal. The amount a person would have to pay varies greatly on their situation. And, there are various types of tax credits that could affect the amount of taxes that would be paid on income. Any earned income that is deferred into a qualified retirement account generally means that taxes on that income won’t get paid at the time it is earned, but when that income is taken at a later date, during retirement, taxes are paid at that time. The idea that paying taxes on income later, when one might be in a lower income tax bracket, might prove more beneficial. But a) there is no guarantee what the tax rates will be in the future, and b) there may be several other factors with a person’s overall taxation that could affect what is perceived as a benefit. A tax professional is the best person to help folks evaluate what kinds of strategies are best for their overall situation. At the end of the day, SOME form of income tax will be paid, either when it is received upon earning, or when it is withdrawn from a qualified plan “down the road” in retirement.

What can be done to possibly reduce these taxes? Speak to a tax professional about what tax credits might apply, and also review with them if itemized deductions can play a role in reducing taxation.

Sales Tax – taxation occurs on state levels for various goods and services that get purchased. The percentage of taxation is usually based on the price of said goods and/or services. But that percentage charged can vary greatly from state to state, or even within different municipalities. There are a few states that don’t have any sales tax on most goods and services.

Excise Tax – taxation that is applied to specific types of goods; gas, cigarettes, beer, liquor, etc. These are typically nicknamed as “sin products”. Taxes received for these particular products are generally used to help raise money for bringing awareness to the potential dangers of these products.

What can be done to manage sales and excise tax? Not much. These types of taxes are very hard to “manage”. Changes in lifestyle; consumption of goods that fall within this category, will obviously affect the amount of sales taxes paid.

Property Tax – taxation that is applied to property owned. Taxes received tend to go towards local municipality needs. The amount of property taxes charged is usually based on a percentage of the value of the property.

What can be done to manage or alleviate property tax? Renting instead of owning might prove beneficial with alleviating property tax. However, there may be tax benefits also lost by being a renter instead of an owner. Again, a tax professional is best for helping to calculate what the tax benefits are for both scenarios.

It might not be possible to have a completely tax-free retirement, but by working with a financial professional and a tax professional, the ability to strategize investments and manage how taxation occurs could prove very beneficial. It’s not just about saving and investing…it’s about being as savvy as possible with the decisions along the way.

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