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Your Financial Future Family ties are amazing. These connections, based in DNA, history and genuine care, can prompt many to support their loved ones through times of need, be it emotional, physical and even financial. It is natural to want to support your family, but the players involved can double (or even triple or quadruple in cases of blended families), increasing the financial strain. Since these familial situations can snowball quite quickly, I urge you to focus first on your own financial independence and be sure not to let your parents and your children squeeze your financial future. While many hate to be a burden on their family, it’s actually quite common for people to financially assist other family members. According to Ameritrade’s Financial Support Study, one-fifth of Americans are Financial Supporters, meaning they provide financial support to a parent and/or an adult child.1 A survey conducted by GoBankingRates found that 63 percent of children plan to financially support their parents in some way once they retire.2 On the other end, parents are also financially supporting their grown children. Per Financial Planning OWS, 24% are helping with rent and 39% are paying cell phone bills.3

My primary advice is to always pay yourself first. Be sure to establish a healthy emergency fund and contribute to your retirement. It’s similar to what you hear on airplanes about placing the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on others. You need to be sure that you are fiscally secure before you provide for those who are financially struggling. This is very sound, logical advice, which can be difficult to follow once emotions come into play.

Most of the decisions I see my clients struggle with are when the emotional and the financials are at odds. When your daughter wants to go to that expensive, out-of-state college that you didn’t save enough for, it’s tempting to try to make it work, whatever means necessary. Or perhaps your son is going through a costly divorce, and the only way you feel you can support him and ensure you see your grandkids is to borrow from your retirement to hire him a good lawyer. These are the moments when you need to be able to tell your child and yourself, “No”. In most cases, there are other options and alternatives in place. They may not be the dream situation, but they will still get the job done. Don’t sacrifice your future for your child’s dream, no matter how compelling. Don’t let emotions cloud good judgment.

On the other end of the spectrum, is a harsh reality. When dealing with parents who may not have planned sufficiently or are in the midst of a financial crisis, be sure that you are communicating as one adult to another. If possible, you may want to tackle those financial conversations early. Some of these difficult financial conversations with parents are tied to medical issues, so be sure to discuss before physical situations become dire.

When you find yourself in the midst of these difficult situations, please don’t forget about your support system. Your financial advisor can act as an unbiased referee in moments of disagreement or emotional struggle. They will likely remember the important financial issues that may slip your mind and will be ruled by numbers rather than nostalgia. At the moments when you need a pragmatic perspective to shine through the cloud of emotions, a trusted financial advisor can be invaluable.

In a time where many people find themselves part of the Sandwich Generation, taking on financial burdens can seem inevitable. Yet, so much can be avoided and accomplished when you act in advance. Start chatting with mom and dad while they’re still in good physical and financial health. Start saving for colleges as early as possible. When you’re proactive, you can prepare. When you’re reactive, people and finances can take a hit.

1. https://s1.q4cdn.com/959385532/files/doc_downloads/research/TDA-Financial-Support-Study-2015.pdf
2. https://www.gobankingrates.com/retirement/planning/kids-plan-financially-support-parents-retirement/
3. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolynrosenblatt/2018/07/09/aging-parents-helping-adult-children-financially-unhealthy-results/#321bb1e2ef39

“What’s top of mind?” is an incredible starting point for a financial planning conversation. A client will oftentimes start with a story, not the balance of their retirement account or what they spent last month on dining out. More recently, children have been top of mind for a lot of families. How should we pay for college? Should we pay for college? I want to save for my child, but have more flexibility than an education account. Education and the cost of college is the obvious priority with kids. I’ll suggest protecting your child with life insurance with accelerated benefit riders as a second priority. Let me explain, after you just tensed up and committed yourself to not discussing.

As a parent, I pray nothing happens to my two sons. Unfortunately, I don’t have complete control of that outcome. Here are three reasons why I’ll suggest life insurance for your child.

Accelerated benefit riders give you access to the death benefit, if your son or daughter experiences a terminal diagnosis, chronic disability, or a critical event. If any of these conditions take place, I’m not going back to work the next day. I’ll living at the hospital, eating restaurant food, and spending money on unanticipated expenses outside of what health care pays for, without having to take a loan on my 401k or deplete my savings account.

A death benefit (unimaginable) provides peace of mind that if the worst were to happen, your family wouldn’t have to think about work, the mortgage, or time off. You simply could spend time together grieving the most difficult time in your life. Enough said.

The cash value growing inside of your indexed universal life policy (form of permanent insurance) creates a saving vehicles indexed to the S&P 500 over the life of the policy. If at a certain point in your now grown child’s life, you can surrender the policy and provide a jump start for their first down payment, wedding, or other significant event in their life, OR even give the policy to your child for them to now pay their own premium and have a level of life insurance in place.

Why don’t I invest my money in the market and have more to give to my child when he/she is grown? I agree with this philosophy, assuming none of the aforementioned events happen while your children are under your roof. Since the cost of insurance for a child is so low, I’m willing to protect my child first, then if nothing happens, I have an opportunity to gift them their starter policy as they start their own career and family. If you have a term policy in place, you can oftentimes add a child term rider for a small additional premium. Cheers to being a parent. If you have further questions about this type of planning, please reach out to Mark Nicolet, CFP®, at mark.nicolet@trilogyfs.com or 303-300-3323 ext. 5227.

This material contains only general descriptions and is not a solicitation to sell any insurance product or security, nor is it intended as any financial or tax advice. For information about specific insurance needs or situations, contact your insurance agent. This doesn't take into account your personal characteristics such as budget, assets, risk tolerance, family situation or activities which may affect the type of insurance that would be right for you. In addition, state insurance laws and insurance underwriting rules may affect available coverage and its costs. Guarantees are based on the claims paying ability of the issuing company.