59½: Why is this age so important?

Whether we attribute it to a decline in marriage rates, poor job prospects, student loan debt, technological improvements, or generational shifts, times have certainly changed for young adults. One major topic which my clients bring up centers around their adult children moving back home. While this was not a common conversation ten years ago, I come across this topic more often nowadays. I’ve heard statistics such as “a third of young people, or 24 million of those aged 18 to 34, lived under their parents’ roof in 2015”, and look at it as my job as an advisor to provide advice on how to best navigate through this new landscape.(1)

Within this topic, a common question that I try to help my clients answer is this: Should I charge my adult children rent if they move back home? What I’ve found is that every situation is different, so what may work for one family, may not work for another. However, in this article, I hope to provide a framework to consider when trying to answer the question.

Setting Expectations

Depending on your own experiences and values as parents, as well as the specific circumstance of your adult child, you may insist that they live at home rent-free. For example, if your adult child is being responsible by saving a good share of his/her paycheck for a house down payment and you want to reward that responsible behavior by letting him/her live at home rent-free, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. For other parents, such an assistance for an adult child does not make sense, and no matter what the circumstances, would believe it only right to charge for rent if living at home.

No matter where you fall on this spectrum, it is important to set expectations with your adult child. For instance, if you decide that it is out of your comfort zone to charge your child rent for living at home, then what other mechanisms can you put into place to make sure he/she does not get too comfortable? In my experience, I’ve seen parents create timelines and goals, as well as make it crystal clear that the adult child must still pitch in, in other ways such as chores or errands. While it may be a tough conversation initially, imagine the alternative. What if your child gets too comfortable living at home and would rather stay at your “hotel” rather than spread their wings in the real world!

Whether rent is being paid or not, the adult child will have a particular reason as to why they want to or need to live back at home. If they are simply being lazy and are not making an effort towards adulthood, it is crucially important to provide clear expectations. As parents, you want to always help and support, but you never want to enable. Therefore, in this example of being lazy, a parent could set expectations of applying for X number of jobs per week, or something similar.

How Much To Charge For Rent

If you do decide that it makes sense to charge your adult child rent, how much should you charge? In my experience, parents usually charge well below market rates. As parents, you want to help your child out, but you also want to build up their personal finance awareness. How much you charge will also be highly correlated to what your daughter or son can afford, and could change over their time living with you. By having an open conversation and being clear about why you will be charging them, it should not be hard to fall on a number that makes sense for your family.

Alternatives

There are also other ways in which your adult child could pitch in that could be alternatives to paying rent. Such alternatives could be household chores or errands, cooking meals, or even helping parents with their own work. In addition, it could make more sense to have your adult child pay for other household expenses (instead of rent), such as internet, tv, or groceries.

Another alternative could be to make their stay at your home contingent on them depositing money into their own retirement account. This way, you are teaching them how to save and plan for the future.

Finally, if you want to help them grow personally, you can make their stay at your home contingent on community service or volunteering. This is a win-win as well!

Budgeting

This experience can also be thought of as a great teaching moment for your child. Specifically, parents in this situation are in a unique position to extol the virtues of budgeting and personal finance when their child needs it most. If the adult child in your household has to pay you rent and decide how to allocate their small-to-no income, they will quickly learn how to budget. As a parent, you may decide to get creative and instead of using the rent money for expenses, stash it (and maybe even match it) into a savings account for your child. They will be happily surprised with a small nest egg to leave home with!

Other Considerations

Other considerations that I make sure clients consider is their own budget and retirement goals. If your adult child is going to come back home and live there, you’ll want to make sure that adding another adult to the household does not negatively affect your own goals. Because you’d anticipate that household expenses will go up, you must make sure you budget for them, based on your expectations and timeline with your adult child. Again, by having an open conversation with your adult child, I am confident that a reasonable game plan can be implemented with success.

Having this conversation is not always an easy one, but I hope that the considerations above help provide better ways to think about it. If you’d like to discuss your situation further, call my office at (949) 221-8105 x 2128, or email me at michael.loo@lpl.com.

• https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2017/08/young-adults.html

You just realized you need a budget. Whether it's because you'd like to be saving more money, you plan on investing in a retirement plan, or you want to straighten out your current finances, you know that having a reliable budget would make your life easier.

Creating a budget for the first time can be one of the most overwhelming experiences, especially when you're just starting to look critically at your financial situation.

Take a deep breath and don't stress out! There are just a few simple steps that you can take to reach a reliable, stable budget. I have some excellent pieces of advice that I give to all my clients, family members, friends, and even neighbors. Let me guide you on this financial journey.

Ready to get started?

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Step One: Track all of your expenses

The first step to getting figuring out your finances is to figure out what you have been spending. Print your bank statements for the last three months and categorize each item in your statement on to a new spreadsheet. The Federal Trade Commission has a convenient website www.consumer.gov suggests categorizing every expense, including:

• Car Expenses
• Food
• Clothing Expenses
• Insurance
• Credit Card Payments
• Misc. Expenses
• Entertainment/Going Out
• School/Business Expense

Once you have your spending history, review your daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. Looking at the big picture and the tiny details all in one place can help you make small changes that have significant impacts on your finances. Reviewing all of this information lets you easily formulate your budget for next month without the hassle of digging through your bank statements.

Step Two: Set realistic goals

Start with a small, short-term goal. Set one finance goal to obtain over three months and use smaller milestones to meet the finish line you set for yourself. Use each week to reassess your goal and make adjustments as needed. When the goal is achieved, make another, and another, and another. Goals may require modifications, but it's an excellent way to set yourself up for financial success. You'll have something to be proud of every time you pass a milestone. And when the goal is reached? Reward yourself with something—that's still in your budget, of course.

Step Three: Make adjustments

I can't stress this enough—once the budget is set, don't be afraid to readjust as needed. There is no shame in making necessary changes to your budget. Situations change all the time, and nothing has to be concrete. Flexibility is key. Being rigid can make things harder for you and your family if something unexpected comes up and you need to spend more in one category than previously thought. Adjust smartly, not just because you want to splurge on a new gadget or pair of shoes.

Step Four: Never stop reviewing your budget

As I said in step three, adjustments are necessary. While you should remain flexible, if you notice that month after month, week after week, your budget seems to need changes, it's time to review. Reviewing your budget monthly will put your mind at ease if everything is going according to plan or allow you to see what hiccups caused you to veer off-course. Remember, no budget is perfect, and we all have to work towards a happy, balanced budget.

This is just a beginner's toolkit that can help you keep your budget in good health. These are my starting points that seeks to help you get to your financial happy place. There's no need to stress anymore. You don’t have to be perfect. I’ve seen too many people give up on budgeting because they made one mistake and got mad at themselves.  Give yourself the grace to be human.  As long as you are making more good decisions than bad ones over a long period of time, you can work towards getting to where get to where you want to be. You have a roadmap, and you can make your finances a priority quickly with just four simple steps.