Life Planning Advice Family & Relationships Advice

5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing a Legacy Letter

By Trilogy Financial

February 3, 2025

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Imagine a recipe box that’s been passed down from your great grandmother. It sits on your kitchen counter, full of cards containing not just ingredient lists and cooking instructions, but handwritten notes detailing memories about each meal. It’s these personal anecdotes that transform food into feeling through stories.

That’s how a legacy letter works. It’s a way to pass on what matters most to you.

What is a Legacy Letter?

Unlike a will that distributes material possessions, a legacy letter, sometimes known as an ethical will, passes on your values, life lessons, hopes, and personal history to future generations. It serves to bridge the gap between the tangible inheritance you might leave behind and the intangible wisdom you've gathered throughout your life.

While a legacy letter can complement a legal will, it should be thought of as a personal document rather than a legal directive. You can consider your legacy letter a conversation across time – a way to share yourself with your great-grandchildren and future generations.

What are the Benefits of Writing a Legacy Letter?

Your legacy letter will benefit both you as the writer and the letter’s recipients. For the writer, it offers the chance to reflect on and crystallize what matters most in your life. We find the process often brings clarity to our clients around their deepest values and the impact they hope their assets will have on their loved ones.

For recipients, your legacy letter can help ground them in their family history, which often gets reduced to dates and basic facts. Through your letter, you give them the gift of context, understanding, and connection. Your legacy letter becomes a way for your perspective and guidance to live on after you’re gone.

What are the Components of a Legacy Letter?

Just like your life, your legacy letter is entirely unique. And while there’s certainly no required formula for one, they most often include the following elements:

Values and Beliefs: Explain not just what you believe in, but why. Share the experiences that challenged or reinforced your values.
Life Lessons: Discuss both your successes and failures. What decisions are you most proud of? What would you do differently? Mistakes and vulnerable moments are often more effective teachers than perfection.
Family Stories: Include meaningful anecdotes about family members, especially those your recipients never met. What family traditions hold special meaning and why?
Hopes for the Future: Express your wishes for future generations without being prescriptive or giving explicit direction. Share the dreams you have for your family’s future.

Who Should You Share Your Legacy Letter With?

Most people write legacy letters primarily for their children and grandchildren, but you might also consider including other family members and close friends.

Having an idea of who your audience will be before you start writing will help you strike the right tone and include the most relevant content. Keep in mind that future generations will likely read your letter as well.

How and When to Share Your Legacy Letter

The timing and method of sharing your legacy letter deserve careful consideration. Some people choose to save their letters to be read after they pass, but there can be profound value in sharing your words and story while you’re still here, particularly during significant life moments such as a child’s graduation, before a wedding, or upon the birth of a grandchild.

If you decide to share your letter while living, you have several options:

Reading it aloud in person allows you to add context and emotion to your words and can lead to meaningful family discussions that encourage others to share their own stories.

Creating individual copies for each recipient lets them absorb your words privately and return to them often. Some people include photos or other meaningful documents alongside their letters.

Recording yourself reading your letter combines your words and your voice into a powerful audio-visual legacy that can also be relistened to as often as the recipient wants.

If you prefer your letter to be shared after your passing, ensure someone you trust knows where to find it and understands your wishes for its distribution. Consider including it with your other important documents or lodging it with your attorney.

Timing isn't just about when others receive your letter; it's also about when you write it. Don't wait for the “perfect” moment or until you feel you have all the answers. Your perspective and wisdom are valuable now, and you can always edit or write additional letters as you gain new insights or want to share different aspects of your story.

How to Get Started: Five Questions to Ask Yourself

Deciding to write your legacy letter is the first step, but it can be challenging to know exactly where to begin. We’ve found these questions help jumpstart the writing process:

What moments of adversity have shaped who you are? Don't just list challenges you've overcome. Dig deeper into how these experiences changed your perspective and influenced your decisions, and share what you learned from your most difficult times that might help future generations navigate their own struggles?
What family traditions or values do you want to share? Think beyond the obvious. Maybe your grandfather's habit of giving anonymous gifts to neighbors in need taught you about quiet generosity, or perhaps your mother's insistence on Sunday dinners wasn't just about food, but about creating unbreakable family bonds.
What parts of your story might be lost if you don't share them? Consider the small but significant moments that shaped your path. Maybe it was a chance encounter that ultimately led you to your career, or a split-second decision that changed everything. It’s these personal details that often get lost in formal family histories but can be incredibly meaningful to future generations.
What do you wish you knew about your own ancestors? Reflect on the questions you have about your family history. What gaps in your own family narrative do you wish were filled? Use these curiosities to guide what you share about yourself.
What misunderstandings about your life choices do you want to clarify? Perhaps you made a later-in-life career change that seemed risky to others, or your decision to end a marriage wasn't fully understood. Your legacy letter offers the opportunity to share your reasoning and the wisdom that guided these choices, but take care not to sound defensive. The goal is to help your loved ones and future generations make their own choices that are best for them.

Some people find the thought of writing intimidating, but your legacy letter isn’t about being the most eloquent or perfectly polished. It’s about being authentic and genuine, keeping your audience in mind, and truly reflecting on what matters most in your life.

Start today. Your story matters, and future generations will be grateful you took the time to share it.

For example, when speaking of aspirations for the future, there are those who use the words dreams and goals interchangeably. However, they ae distinctively different in definition and performance. A dream is boundless, fueled by your passion and imagination. However, it is akin to fantasy, with no immediate call to bring it to life. When someone tells me they dream of owning a sports car or starting their own business, I know most of the work to make that dream a reality hasn’t taken place and probably won’t for the foreseeable future.

A goal, on the other hand, is the mapwork to that dream, concrete and behavior-driven. When you have a goal, you have markers, measurements and steps to get to the destination. Setting the right goals, especially when it pertains to financial goals, can have a significant effect on how and when you achieve them. In fact, a guide to good goal-setting has long been to make it S.M.A.R.T.1:

Specific: if we are truly making a map towards our goals, telling ourselves to go in a general direction or for an undefined distance is most likely only going to get us lost. Steps towards our dreams have to be detailed and specific.

Measurable: When a goal is measurable, there is a way to track your progress to stay motivated or identify issues that may need problem-solving.

Attainable: It is admirable to be striving for something grand and lofty. However, it’s imperative that we have feasible goals that we can accomplish to keep us motivated and actually accomplish said goal.

Relevant: Having impressive goals are fine and dandy, but if they don’t move you closer to your overall goals or work against other goals you may have, it may be time to rethink them.

Time Bound: Once something has been stated as a goal, the stop watch has started. There is an expectation of completion, which is necessary to keep us moving forward towards that goal. It may not get completed in the expected timeframe, but just by having a deadline, we can stay accountable.

Based on this description of a S.M.A.R.T., you can see that there is a difference between, “I’m going to start saving money for a house,” and “I’m going to put 15% of my paycheck into a savings account specifically designated for my eventual down payment, and I should have enough saved after 3 years.” One expresses a desire while the other one lays out a concrete plan to achieve the goal.

If one seems to be fueling the other, how can a dream inhibit a goal? Well, one way is when your lifestyle fits with your dream rather than your goals. To achieve many financial goals like saving for retirement or buying a home, one needs to save and stick to a budget. However, if you fail to save and incrementally work towards the goals, it will take longer and longer to see results. Worse is if you choose to skip the incremental steps and live your dreamer’s lifestyle by using credit cards. The debt you accumulate will take you farther and farther from your goals and possible put you in an unfortunate and stressful predicament.

Sometimes when we haven’t developed a goal for a dream, it’s vagueness can work against an already established goal. Perhaps a good friend asks you to go into business with them. If you choose to pour funds into this new endeavor without any parameters, you may find yourself taking funds away from saving for retirement or depleting savings you already had. Of course, if you had outlined your goal on how to contribute to your friend’s business, with specific and timely parameters, the situation could be completely different.

Please understand that I’m not asking you to stop dreaming. In fact, quite the opposite. I happen wake up every day saying, “Dream Big! Work Hard! Laugh often!” I sign letters and thank you notes and end employee meetings with those very words. Dreaming is important.

So please know I want you to dream big and bold. At the same time, I want you to buckle down and create some S.M.A.R.T. goals to propel you closer to your dreams.

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

Investment Insights

Avoid These Common Mistakes When Choosing a Financial Planner

By Trilogy Financial

February 20, 2024

Introduction:

Selecting a qualified financial planner is crucial for securing a robust financial future. A proficient planner, like those at Trilogy Financial, can create a financial plan tailored to your unique needs to help you reach your goals. Yet, a staggering 74% of Americans engage in financial planning without professional guidance, revealing a potential gap in making informed choices².

Mistake 1: Overlooking Qualifications

Chart quantifying the benefit of a financial planner.

Stat: Smart financial planning can yield 1.5% more in annual average returns, underlining the importance of qualified guidance³.
Tip: When choosing an advisor ensure your planner holds pertinent certifications and showcases a robust track record of expertise.

What are pertinent certifications for a financial planner?Pertinent certifications include the Certified Financial Planner (CFP), Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA), and Certified Public Accountant (CPA) designations. These certifications indicate a high level of expertise and adherence to industry standards.
How can I verify a financial planner's certifications?You can verify a planner's certifications by checking the databases of certifying bodies like the CFP Board or the CFA Institute. Additionally, you can ask the planner for proof of certification.
What constitutes a robust track record of expertise?A strong track record includes many years of experience, successful financial planning, happy clients, and industry recognition or awards.
How can I assess a financial planner’s track record?You can assess a planner’s track record by reviewing client testimonials, checking for any industry awards or recognitions, and asking for references. Additionally, verifying their work history and experience in the field can provide insights into their expertise.

Mistake 2: Neglecting Fee Structures

Stat: According to a 2019 Financial Trust Survey, “Nearly half of Americans (48%) incorrectly believe all financial advisers have a legal obligation to act in clients’ best interests.”⁴.
Tip: Understand the fee structures and ensure transparency in your financial engagements if you chose to work with a financial advisor.

What are common fee structures in financial planning?Common fee structures include fee-only (fixed, hourly, or percentage of assets managed), commission-based, and fee-based (a combination of fees and commissions).
How can I ensure transparency in fee structures?Ask your financial planner for a clear, written explanation of all fees and charges, including any potential third-party fees, before engaging their services.
What is the difference between fee-only and fee-based financial planners?Fee-only planners charge a flat fee, hourly rate, or percentage of assets managed, and do not receive commissions from selling financial products. Fee-based planners, on the other hand, may charge fees and also receive commissions, which could potentially lead to conflicts of interest.
How do commissions affect the advice I receive?Commissions could potentially create a conflict of interest if a financial planner is incentivized to recommend certain products that earn them commissions, rather than what's in your best interest.

Mistake 3: Disregarding a Personalized Approach

Advisor providing a personalized approach to financial planning

Stat: A Bankrate 2019 survey shows that 44% of individuals with a personal finance plan save more for retirement and 43% save 50% more per month.⁵
Tip: When hiring a financial advisor opt for financial planners like those at Trilogy Financial, who prioritize a personalized approach to meet your unique financial objectives.

What does a personalized approach in financial planning entail?A personalized approach means that the financial planner takes the time to understand your individual financial circumstances, goals, risk tolerance, and future aspirations to craft a strategy tailored to meet your unique needs.
Why is a personalized approach important in financial planning?A personalized approach ensures that your financial plan is aligned with your goals and circumstances, which can lead to better financial outcomes and satisfaction over time.
What are some examples of unique financial objectives that would benefit from a personalized approach?Unique financial objectives could include planning for early retirement, saving for a child's education, managing a large inheritance, or preparing for a significant life change like marriage or starting a business.
How does a personalized approach compare to a one-size-fits-all approach in financial planning?A personalized approach provides tailored advice and strategies based on your individual circumstances, which can lead to more effective financial planning and better outcomes compared to a one-size-fits-all approach that may not align with your personal goals and risk tolerance.

Mistake 4: Ignoring a Comprehensive Service Offering

Chart showing 90% of people say financial planning helped them achieve their saving goals.

Stat: A whopping 90% of individuals achieved their savings goals owing to comprehensive personal finance plans, emphasizing the necessity of a holistic service offering⁶.
Tip: Choose a planner offering a spectrum of services including retirement planning, estate planning, and risk management.

Why is it important for a financial planner to offer a variety of services?A variety of services allows for a holistic approach to financial management, ensuring that all aspects of your financial life are considered and managed in a coordinated manner. This might include mutual funds, tax planning, and more.
What is retirement planning, and why is it crucial?Retirement planning involves preparing for life after you stop working, which includes saving, investing, and making other financial arrangements to ensure a comfortable living post-retirement.
What does estate planning entail?Estate planning involves the management and disposal of an individual's estate during their life and at and after death, while minimizing gift, estate, generation skipping transfer, and income tax.
What is risk management in the context of financial planning?Risk management in financial planning refers to the identification, assessment, and strategizing to mitigate or manage financial risks that could negatively impact your financial situation.

Mistake 5: Underestimating Continuous Communication

Stat: Clients report higher satisfaction levels with higher frequencies of investment-related educational communications and scheduled meetings, underscoring the importance of continuous communication 7.
Tip: Ensure your financial planner maintains open channels of communication, keeping you informed and engaged throughout your financial journey.

How can I ensure that my financial planner maintains open channels of communication?
You can set expectations for communication upfront, such as preferred methods of communication and frequency of updates. It's also helpful to choose a planner who is responsive and willing to engage in regular discussions about your financial plan.
Why is communication important in financial planning?
Communication is crucial to ensure that you and your financial planner are on the same page regarding your financial goals, risk tolerance, and any changes in your financial circumstances. It also helps in building trust and understanding throughout the financial planning process.
What are some red flags regarding communication with a financial planner?
Red flags could include lack of responsiveness, unwillingness to answer your questions, failure to provide clear explanations, or not initiating regular reviews and updates as agreed upon.
How can effective communication with a financial planner impact my financial journey?
Effective communication can lead to better understanding, trust, and alignment between you and your planner, which in turn can result in a more effective financial plan and a more satisfying financial journey.

Conclusion:

Avoiding these common pitfalls when choosing a financial planner can significantly steer your financial voyage towards success. Engaging with a reputable firm like Trilogy Financial not only helps sidestep these mistakes but also ensures a tailored, client-centric approach delivered by qualified professionals, fostering transparent communication throughout your financial journey1.