5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing a Legacy Letter

By Trilogy Financial
February 3, 2025
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Imagine a recipe box that’s been passed down from your great grandmother. It sits on your kitchen counter, full of cards containing not just ingredient lists and cooking instructions,  but handwritten notes detailing memories about each meal. It’s these personal anecdotes that transform food into feeling through stories.

That’s how a legacy letter works. It’s a way to pass on what matters most to you.

What is a Legacy Letter?

Unlike a will that distributes material possessions, a legacy letter, sometimes known as an ethical will, passes on your values, life lessons, hopes, and personal history to future generations. It serves to bridge the gap between the tangible inheritance you might leave behind and the intangible wisdom you've gathered throughout your life.

While a legacy letter can complement a legal will, it should be thought of as a personal document rather than a legal directive. You can consider your legacy letter a conversation across time – a way to share yourself with your great-grandchildren and future generations.

What are the Benefits of Writing a Legacy Letter?

Your legacy letter will benefit both you as the writer and the letter’s recipients. For the writer, it offers the chance to reflect on and crystallize what matters most in your life. We find the process often brings clarity to our clients around their deepest values and the impact they hope their assets will have on their loved ones.

For recipients, your legacy letter can help ground them in their family history, which often gets reduced to dates and basic facts. Through your letter, you give them the gift of context, understanding, and connection. Your legacy letter becomes a way for your perspective and guidance to live on after you’re gone.

What are the Components of a Legacy Letter?

Just like your life, your legacy letter is entirely unique. And while there’s certainly no required formula for one, they most often include the following elements:

  1. Values and Beliefs: Explain not just what you believe in, but why. Share the experiences that challenged or reinforced your values.
  2. Life Lessons: Discuss both your successes and failures. What decisions are you most proud of? What would you do differently? Mistakes and vulnerable moments are often more effective teachers than perfection.
  3. Family Stories: Include meaningful anecdotes about family members, especially those your recipients never met. What family traditions hold special meaning and why?
  4. Hopes for the Future: Express your wishes for future generations without being prescriptive or giving explicit direction. Share the dreams you have for your family’s future.

Who Should You Share Your Legacy Letter With?

Most people write legacy letters primarily for their children and grandchildren, but you might also consider including other family members and close friends.

Having an idea of who your audience will be before you start writing will help you strike the right tone and include the most relevant content. Keep in mind that future generations will likely read your letter as well.

How and When to Share Your Legacy Letter

The timing and method of sharing your legacy letter deserve careful consideration. Some people choose to save their letters to be read after they pass, but there can be profound value in sharing your words and story while you’re still here, particularly during significant life moments such as a child’s graduation, before a wedding, or upon the birth of a grandchild.

If you decide to share your letter while living, you have several options:

Reading it aloud in person allows you to add context and emotion to your words and can lead to meaningful family discussions that encourage others to share their own stories.

Creating individual copies for each recipient lets them absorb your words privately and return to them often. Some people include photos or other meaningful documents alongside their letters.

Recording yourself reading your letter combines your words and your voice into a powerful audio-visual legacy that can also be relistened to as often as the recipient wants.

If you prefer your letter to be shared after your passing, ensure someone you trust knows where to find it and understands your wishes for its distribution. Consider including it with your other important documents or lodging it with your attorney.

Timing isn't just about when others receive your letter; it's also about when you write it. Don't wait for the “perfect” moment or until you feel you have all the answers. Your perspective and wisdom are valuable now, and you can always edit or write additional letters as you gain new insights or want to share different aspects of your story.

How to Get Started: Five Questions to Ask Yourself

Deciding to write your legacy letter is the first step, but it can be challenging to know exactly where to begin. We’ve found these questions help jumpstart the writing process:

  1. What moments of adversity have shaped who you are? Don't just list challenges you've overcome. Dig deeper into how these experiences changed your perspective and influenced your decisions, and share what you learned from your most difficult times that might help future generations navigate their own struggles?
  2. What family traditions or values do you want to share? Think beyond the obvious. Maybe your grandfather's habit of giving anonymous gifts to neighbors in need taught you about quiet generosity, or perhaps your mother's insistence on Sunday dinners wasn't just about food, but about creating unbreakable family bonds.
  3. What parts of your story might be lost if you don't share them? Consider the small but significant moments that shaped your path. Maybe it was a chance encounter that ultimately led you to your career, or a split-second decision that changed everything. It’s these personal details that often get lost in formal family histories but can be incredibly meaningful to future generations.
  4. What do you wish you knew about your own ancestors? Reflect on the questions you have about your family history. What gaps in your own family narrative do you wish were filled? Use these curiosities to guide what you share about yourself.
  5. What misunderstandings about your life choices do you want to clarify? Perhaps you made a later-in-life career change that seemed risky to others, or your decision to end a marriage wasn't fully understood. Your legacy letter offers the opportunity to share your reasoning and the wisdom that guided these choices, but take care not to sound defensive. The goal is to help your loved ones and future generations make their own choices that are best for them.

 

Some people find the thought of writing intimidating, but your legacy letter isn’t about being the most eloquent or perfectly polished. It’s about being authentic and genuine, keeping your audience in mind, and truly reflecting on what matters most in your life.

Start today. Your story matters, and future generations will be grateful you took the time to share it.

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By
Jeff Motske, CFP®
June 7, 2018

Your retirement savings, which is the means to your financial freedom, should be set up in the same way. There is no way to accurately predict what life will be like during the course of your retirement. Based on the climbing US debt, it is safe to assume that tax rates may increase. Unanticipated expenses may arise. Life is never predictable. Therefore, you need your money to be ready to work for you. In my experience, one of the best ways to ensure this is by utilizing three types, or buckets, of savings.

The first bucket is comprised of your traditional retirement investments like a 401(k), 403(b), or 457 plan. These plans are very popular and easily accessible as most employers offer them. Contributions grow tax-deferred and can be automatically deducted from one’s paycheck. However, what was a tax benefit while saving becomes a tax-trap once you retire as those funds will be taxed once they are pulled out. Another thing to consider is what the tax rate will be like at that time. I always ask my clients, “Do you think taxes will have gone up or down by the time you retire?” No one ever says down. Therefore, if all your retirement funds are in this first bucket, you are suddenly at the mercy of the government on how you utilize your retirement money. This is not financial freedom.

However, more buckets mean more options. Let’s consider that you also have retirement savings invested in a second bucket containing tax-free funds. This is typically comprised of Roth IRA’s or Roth 401(k)’s. Although Roth 401(k)’s are not highly promoted or even included in a lot of employer-offered plans, they are a very powerful saving tool. Your contributions grow tax-deferred and are distributed tax-free. With the addition of this second bucket or savings, you suddenly have a little more flexibility on how you access your money.

The final bucket is one that isn’t on most people’s radar. This bucket should be comprised of the investments in your portfolio of stock equities. The gains on these investments are taxed as capital gains. Historically, capital gains tax rates are significantly lower than typical income tax rates. If these investments are sold properly, they can provide another option when trying to manage how your money works for you.

As you can see, multiple buckets of retirement savings seek to provide you with freedom and tax control. If taxes are high, utilize your second bucket. If taxes are lower, feel free to dip into your first bucket. You can work with your financial advisor on what investments belong in which bucket, as well as to dial more or less into these buckets depending on tax rates and what your needs are. This flexibility is key to securing your financial freedom in retirement.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. Investing involves risk, including the risk of loss.

By
Darcy Borella, CFP®
February 1, 2018

If you're one of the millions of Americans who received, or are expecting to receive, a tax refund, you are probably trying to decide how to spend it. The average refund this year is around $3,000, a nice chunk of change to throw at one of your goals. Rather than impulse buying that new Apple iWatch or splurging at Sephora, make the best use of this windfall by putting it towards improving your financial situation.

Build Up An Emergency Fund

Some very good friends of mine woke up recently to find that their downstairs had flooded from a burst pipe on the second level. They had to rip up their hard wood floors, replace furniture, and even replace some of the walls. Luckily, their bedroom and their child's nursery was spared, but THIS type of unexpected event is exactly why you need an emergency fund. If they didn't have cash readily available in a savings account, they might have been tempted to put charges for repairs and replacements on a high-interest credit card. Depending on your situation, you should ideally have 3-6 months of regular expenses in the bank. Use your tax refund to start, or top off, your rainy day fund.

Pay Off Debt

The power of compounding interest can work in your favor when investing, but it can also cause debt to grow faster than you might think. Credit card companies apply their interest fees to the amount that you owe initially. But every month (and sometimes every DAY!) after that, the compounding interest will apply to the principal, as well as the previous month's interest. If you want to apply the snowball method, apply your refund to the smallest account you can close out. Alternatively, you can use the “Avalanche” method, and put your refund towards the card with the highest interest rate. Paying off the smallest account might feel good, but if you have double digit interest accruing on a card, get that debt paid off as fast as you can. Take the windfall from your refund and put it towards cleaning up your personal balance sheet.

Fund an Individual Retirement Account

IRAs are one of the greatest savings vehicles you can have for retirement. These vehicles allow you to invest in the market outside of any employer-sponsored plans (like a 401K) with tax-free growth (no capital gains!) until retirement. There are two types of IRAs that are available to the general public: Roth IRAs and Traditional IRAs. With a Roth, you contribute post-tax dollars and don't have to pay income taxes on any distributions in retirement. There is, however, a phase-out limit based on income. With a traditional IRA, you do pay income taxes on distributions in retirement. However, contributions made could be tax-deductible for that tax year (contributions made from January 1st of the current year through April 15th of the following year). As of now, individuals can contribute up to $5,500 per year ($6,500 if you’re age 50 or older), or your taxable compensation for the year, if your compensation was less than this dollar limit.

Monetize Other Financial Goals

Planning to take a big family vacation to Disneyland in 5 years? Dreaming of owning a house but need to build up a sizable down payment? Wondering how you are going to pay for your pre-teen's college tuition? If you have any intermediate goals (prior to retirement), consider opening a brokerage account to help your money grow more efficiently. Statistically, the stock market has more up years than down, and historically, has recovered from those down years relatively quickly. If you have time on you side, consider monetizing these goals by participating in the market at a level that is in line with your risk tolerance.

But If You Must, Splurge…A Little

If you just can't help it, take a small percentage of your refund to treat yourself. Whether it's a nice dinner, a manicure, or checking out a movie with your spouse, take a minute to blow off some steam. Keep this amount small though as the path to wealth is paved with good decisions. Start making good habits today to delay gratification and secure a financial safety net in your future.

Get Started on Your Financial Life Plan Today